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Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:16 am  |
I recieved this via email this morning and I just had to share it with the ladies on the forum (the guys might find it hilarious also)  :
>Subject: Maxi Pads
>
> MR. JAMES THATCHER BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE.
> - - - -
> Dear Mr. Thatcher,
>
>I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I
>appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or
>Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa
>dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in
>tight, white shorts.
>
>But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on
>being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that
>maxi-pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each
>month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
>
>Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the
>curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting
>right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging
>through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll
>be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with
>knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?
>
>As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen
>quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers'
>monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating,
>puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying
>jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for
>most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent
>urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just
>because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.
>
>Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is
>just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the
>reason for my letter.
>
>Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach
>inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and
>there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy
>Period."
>
>Are you f*****g kidding me?
>
>What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think
>happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a
>menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit
>pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M
>freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you
>have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your
>house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a
>hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For
>the love of God, pull your head out of you ass man. If you just have to slap
>a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn 't it make more sense to say
>something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or
>"Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?
>
>Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately,
>there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my
>maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your
>Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending
>bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
>
>Always,
>
>Wendi Aarons Austin , TX
> |
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PROUD FTM @ 40 TO CARTER-BORN APRIL 12, 2006...Sensitive dry skintype...prone to excema |
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