Soulmates - do they even exist?
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free skin care · Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:38 am

well i was watching Oprah recently, I think it's a re-run, anyway a guest on the show said that in her opinion we can have more than one soulmate, depending on what stage we are in our lives.

now during a lunch with some friends a while back (there was a guy in the group also) the general consensus seems to be that we only have one soulmate each but we might end up never meeting them, ever. sort of like lost souls wandering around, never quite becoming whole if you like (what a sad thought!) or we might meet them but due to one thing or another, never actually ending up with them.

what do you guys think? anyone ended up with their soulmates? and more importantly, how will we KNOW? Think

free skin care · Tue Aug 28, 2007 6:46 pm

You know, I guess I never had that fear, because my clock went kind of backwards. I never wanted children, and in fact was very much convinced that I would never want to have them, even as recently as a couple years ago (and I always figured I would adopt or become a foster parent if I changed my mind later in life). But then I met Grant, and my whole view seriously changed - I honestly think I never met anyone whose kids I wanted to HAVE before, hahaha. (A great testament to my prior boyfriends, I sure know how to pick 'em!) Plus some of my friends in their early 30s had recently started having kids, and I was just exposed to the reality more and more, but still didn't picture it being in the cards for me, ever.

So I honestly didn't have that fear of "missing out" on my chance to start a family. I was raised by a single mom who went from relationship to relationship but hadn't found her soul mate even when I moved away for college (still hasn't, sadly - I just found out she and her husband, whom she married while I was in college, are separating Sad

) and so I think I had a different picture than most girls about how romance works. I never thought I would have Prince Charming just show up, and I certainly never expected to marry my first-ever sweetheart, because that just wasn't the reality I'd grown up with. And for some reason I always pictured settling down in my late 30s, but not before - and only when I dated one of those above-mentioned guys whom I felt super-strongly about did any tiny part of my biological settle-down clock wake up (by then I was already 22 or 23, I think). Which is still very young, sure, but older than your average gal, I think, as most of us are conditioned to settle down from childhood (don't you think?). I mean, I remember other girls being really into all those baby dolls and whatnot, and I just never saw the point - where was the hair you could brush like Barbie, or the cool outfits or shoes!? Laughing

So I see what you mean, especially if family is your main goal - but it was never mine from the get-go, it only became mine when I met someone who had those goals and when I realized (rather slowly) that that was something I was interested in, too. I guess I'm oddly lucky that I had such an atypical idea of how things would go, because it sort of took away some of the stress and impatience/expectation (not all, believe me! But some) in that frustrating time before meeting someone I really connected with. It's weird, you don't think of being raised by someone who can't stay in a relationship as being beneficial like that, but I suppose you could say I managed to make the best of it? That's the conclusion I'm sticking with. Smile

Anyway, sorry for the continued hijacks, cahoot! You got me waxing philosophical today, I guess. I'll shush now and let others have their turn. Smile

free skin care · Wed Aug 29, 2007 11:27 am

Skincare wrote:

ginnielizz, you said it took you years to get over those past soulmates. You make yourself sound old! Don't you think that if you are in your 40's or 50's that you found your soulmate, that it is already too late in life? Meaning too old to have that family you both wanted?

It was just I thought I had and I would feel terrible if someone found their soulmate so late in life only because of that. But if both don't want children, then I guess that would not be an issue.

Hi Skincare,
I actually never thought I would find a soul mate. I felt so unlucky in love, and especially after my divorce, and after a fortune teller (haha) told me there's some really nasty star blocking my love star.
I guess I'm also lucky that my bf doesn't want to have children even though he has none before and has never been married. I already have two kids, so I don't feel like I missed out on that department. I guess you can't control when you'll meet your soul mate, and I read that some people go through life not ever meeting him/her even though they crossed paths several times just due to timing (i.e. already in a relationship with someone else who is not his/her soul mate. But I do hope you find yours. It's a great feeling to be with someone who really understands you.

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