Affair with teacher leads to slaying
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free skin care · Sat Mar 17, 2007 4:30 pm

This is terrible! I really don't care if the student was 18...his lover needs to be responsible as well.

http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/affair-with-teacher-leads-to-slaying/20070317094009990001?ncid=NWS00010000000001

I don't understand. I'm a school counselor. I've been in Education field for over 10 yrs. What are these women thinking???!!! I don't understand how they can rationalize it. Now matter what, these are students. They are our students. We are not suppose to cross the line like this. Uggghhh...I don't understand what the attraction is to children to top it off, this kid ends up losing his life.

free skin care · Sat Mar 17, 2007 4:40 pm

I have no words.

free skin care · Sat Mar 17, 2007 5:09 pm

This is so sad and appalling. My family has 3 generations of teachers and NEVER......

free skin care · Sat Mar 17, 2007 5:41 pm

It is very very sad indeed.

This kind of stories always make me worry about my future. I would like to be working with children and teenagers when I am in my 30s. But, I look pretty young and I am sure I will still look young to teenage boys...Will have to work on how not to attract teenage boys...I can't believe I will be punished for having and/or maintaining good skin
(of course, with all the help I can get from this forum and EDS Bad Grin

)!!!! But, I can already imaging always wearing very unattractive old fashion clothing.... Rolling Eyes

free skin care · Sat Mar 17, 2007 5:44 pm

Way back when... I was in school. The teachers did not/were no allowed to dress in manner that was considered the least bit provocative, i.e. old maid school teacher look. Also, I believe the children were expected to be a great deal more respectful. I also think that there was more of a "line" so to speak regarding what was acceptable for all parties.

free skin care · Sat Mar 17, 2007 6:19 pm

I am all for dressing professionally. I don't think I will be able to be fashionable because teenagers may still find fashion attractive... Confused

free skin care · Sat Mar 17, 2007 6:23 pm

Wild Cat, unfortunately, if you are planning on working around teenage hormones, it does make things quite difficult since today's fashion is somewhat provocative. I guess have work clothes and then the fashion ones that you really enjoy. Sorry.

free skin care · Sat Mar 17, 2007 7:22 pm

That's so sad... Sad

free skin care · Sat Mar 17, 2007 8:23 pm

Wildcat,

I think the issue is that this teacher crossed a line. I've had students come on to me. My co-workers have had students come on to them, but we don't cross a line where it can get dicey. We keep our composure and redirect them. I started teaching when I was 24 years old.

free skin care · Sat Mar 17, 2007 8:38 pm

When I was a student I played soccer and our soccer coach ended up dating a student. They ended up getting married and everything. The next coach thought he was going to get a student to because he like to grab us. He got fired. I don't know if it is really a new thing. I just think it is more public.

That story is horrible.

free skin care · Sat Mar 17, 2007 10:11 pm

I can't ever imagine such an incident happening in Singapore... I mean I hear stories about students having crushes on their teachers but it's merely all talk most times. And the teachers are so old anyway (compared to the student's age I mean)... I absolutely agree that the teacher should take responsibility as well - I mean it takes 2 hands to clap for goodness sakes!

free skin care · Sun Mar 18, 2007 8:31 am

When I was a senior in h.s. (I was only 15), one of my closest friends had an affair with one of our teachers. He was something like 32 and a mother dominated asshole. He used to hangout with us, invite us to his new apartment, etc. He wasn't a pedophile - he was just a jerk.

Years later, when I was in law school, one of my old h.s. chums told me that he had run away to Colorado with a student and apparently married her. This was already YEARS later and his "elopement" had just happened. It was pretty sad that he was hanging out with teenagers at 32. The fact that he was still doing when he was almost pushing 40 was downright pathetic.

free skin care · Sun Mar 18, 2007 9:23 am

The woman was wrong to have an affair if she was his teacher(duty of care etc) but the guy was over 18 and it was the obviously disturbed husband who pulled the trigger.

I always think people who hang out with kids are a bit sad, but lets face it it is what, a 12 year age gap between them? not that big I think.

free skin care · Sun Mar 18, 2007 9:27 am

IMO, when you are young the age gap really does make a difference. As we get older, I don't think it is nearly as important. And then, there is always the exception. So there.

free skin care · Sun Mar 18, 2007 9:34 am

I agree it makes more of a difference the younger you are, but this poor bloke was old enough to get married, have sex, get drunk, consent to surgery, drive a car, smoke fags and die for his country.

In my mind that makes him old enough. I just think it's easy to forget who actually committed the crime in cases like this.

free skin care · Sun Mar 18, 2007 9:38 am

guapagirl wrote:

I agree it makes more of a difference the younger you are, but this poor bloke was old enough to get married, have sex, get drunk, consent to surgery, drive a car, smoke fags and die for his country.

In my mind that makes him old enough. I just think it's easy to forget who actually committed the crime in cases like this.

Well said, couldn't agree more

free skin care · Sun Mar 18, 2007 9:43 am

Technically, yes he was of age. Unfortunately, he most likely didn't have a maturity level to really be making most of those decisions, at least in my opinion. Again, it's all subjective. I've seen 18 yr olds that were more mature than some 30 yr olds. In any case, regardless of age, I think it is very sad when one person takes another's life.

free skin care · Sun Mar 18, 2007 10:17 am

guapagirl wrote:

I agree it makes more of a difference the younger you are, but this poor bloke was old enough to get married, have sex, get drunk, consent to surgery, drive a car, smoke fags and die for his country.

In my mind that makes him old enough. I just think it's easy to forget who actually committed the crime in cases like this.

There is no mistaking that the husband pulled the trigger, but I also think the teacher hurt this person's life as well. Psychologists cannot sleep with their clients. They can lose their license. There is something seriously wrong with this. She took advantage of her position.

free skin care · Sun Mar 18, 2007 12:31 pm

don't get me wrong, I do not condone what she has done because it's an abuse of power and it would be just as wrong if she were a 30 something uni lecturer and he was a 30 something student. Same thing does for bosses shagging their secretaries.

free skin care · Sun Mar 18, 2007 1:38 pm

What slays me in all these stories of the female teacher and the 11-13 yr old boy, is we go ....oh well slap her wrist. Yet turn it and let that be a man and an 11-13 yr old girl and were horrified and he's in prision for life...I say bs to this being ok because its a female ever...Lock their asses up as well, something is terribly wrong with any adult that wants a CHILD.

Now as far as a 30 something and 18 yrs old, diff story. I still say something is very wrong with the 30 yr old, but no crime is committed in my mind, other than just a very abnormal adult.

free skin care · Sun Mar 18, 2007 2:41 pm

I told a friend of mine about a student coming on to me and she said, and I quote " old men and young girls is child abuse, women and boys [note she dropped the old and young!] is sex education".

I did literally fall off my chair and then we had a long debate. Neutral

I do know of a young woman who actively went for grown (and I mean 40 plus) men since she was in her mid teens. I couldn't get it but then she told me to look at all the boys her own age and asked if I would want to go out with a drugged up surfing dickhead and I kinda saw her point. I still thought her boyfriend was flipping creepy though. Shock

free skin care · Sun Mar 18, 2007 3:10 pm

Does this happen more often, or do we just hear about it more often? In my day, this would have been SO out there, no one would have believed it.

free skin care · Sun Mar 18, 2007 4:10 pm

I believe that years ago it was handled without media attention.

free skin care · Sun Mar 18, 2007 4:55 pm

I'm so sad to hear that!

free skin care · Sun Mar 18, 2007 11:21 pm

you would not BELIEVE how often in Japan I have heard of people who married their high school teacher. Ewww.

I agree it is a huge no no (in the professional sense and I guess moral in terms she was married), but yea, this "kid" was 18. That aint no kid.

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