hair cut disappointment :( :(
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free skin care · Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:11 am

Here's your dose of a depressed forum member whimpering about the hair cut and highlights she got today... Many of you have been there and know what I mean and how I feel.

I need advice on how to approach the hair stylist who said she could do some touch ups if I need them.

I am in pursuit of a great stylist since moving back to the northwest (I had finally found a wonderful hair stylist which I totally trusted and adored where I used to live) and I really am disappointed with this new stylist. Here I've been growing my hair out... the longest it's ever been and now I will probably end up having it whacked off to fix it. She did my friend's super short hair and did a lovely job so I was confident she would be able to do something for my somewhat difficult long hair (I have a couple of cowlicks and it's about 25% curly and 75% dead straight-- makes for a strange combination).

First, the layered cut she gave me just doesn't look all that good... it's too thinned or something and looks stringy.

Second, the highlighting is too chunky and looks so obvious. (Some people like this look and others, like me, like it too look more natural).

The good news is that she said I could stop by again if I feel I need any touch-ups or anything changed. She really is willing to work with me. I think I will schedule an appt and stop by. But here's the thing... What do I say and how do I say it so that I don't hurt her feelings? Should I even go back? She's a really sweet person but I am afraid I'll say the wrong thing. In the past if I have ever received an unsatisfactory hair cut I just don't go back and either let me hair grow out or go somewhere else. I just can't afford to go somewhere else right now and I really want my hair fixed. I think a really good hair cut makes a huge different in one's appearance.

free skin care · Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:21 am

If she offered right up front like that I'd say she meant it.

Go back and tell her right out about the highlights, that you'd prefer a less chunky look. She will understand I'm willing to bet.

The hairstyle, well - it may be a matter of adjusting to it. I've gotten cuts that I've gone home & cried about only to adore it a week later. But again, you need to explain to her what it is you aren't happy about the cut. You may be right & not too much can be done but cut it more, but you'll never know til you go back and ask.

If she appears to you that she's open and willing to work with you I'd say give her the chance. Stylists want/need to build a client base. YOU being happy with her & her abilities are the only way to do that. Instead of suffering through til it grows out & then try to find another sytlist (major PITA!) just go back and kindly explain what you aren't pleased with and why.

free skin care · Fri Mar 16, 2007 1:11 am

Amnis, where do you live? So sorry to hear about your haircut disappointment. I've been there....well, still there actually and still growing it out. I am not letting anyone (not even my mom) touch the shortest part of my hair since I'm desperately trying to grow it out.

I am ambivalent about going back to the person who gave you a bad cut to begin with because she could do more damage. If she whacked it too short during her fix, then there'll be nothing more you can do with it. But maybe she's good with short hair cut since she did a great job on your friend. Also, you know that hair stylists have good days and bad days.

I agree with Candy that sometimes you don't like your haircut right away but may like it later. It always takes my hair at least two weeks to adjust to the new cut. Maybe tell your hair stylist your feeling about your hair. Tell her how you feel, so she won't feel attacked. (I learned this in my assertiveness class. LOL) Just approach it from "I feel..." and never say "You did this..."

I think all of your concerns you wrote in your post are legit and you should let her know about them.

free skin care · Fri Mar 16, 2007 1:35 am

Oh dear. I fully understand how you feel! I've been in Singapore my whole life and still haven't found a hair stylist who can give me the cut I want Sad

Usually I do not return after a bad hair cut, prefering to let it grow out and recut or I'll head to another hair stylist to salvage. However, I think you should tell that stylist truthfully what you do not like about the cut as that's the only way she'll know and be able to work with you to get a better result...

free skin care · Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:58 am

I think I had a bad haircut,too. But it's me to blame Sad

Actually I like my hair stylist, he always know which is best for me. However, the last time I visit him, I noticed the bands of the girl besides are cool and insisted to do the same. He tried to persuade me for several times at last turned out to be useless. Sad

free skin care · Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:57 am

If I were you, I will grow my hair longer and I will find another stylist, why bother to get another fixing because it is really hard to go back and your hair might get cut more and more.
So, eat biotin or vitamine and let your hair grow longer for the next one...

free skin care · Fri Mar 16, 2007 7:25 am

Hi amnis, I've walked a mile in your shoes, believe me! I have medium length to long naturally curly hair; it's very difficult to find a stylist who understands how to deal with my hair so when I DID find a stylist I stuck with her for several years until.... drum roll, please

One Saturday afternoon, I don't know if she was distracted or what, but she gave me a bad haircut. I waited for a few days for my hair to settle down, then went back and asked her to fix it. She was very nice about it but the only way she could fix it was to cut it shorter, which really wasn't what I wanted. I was glad I gave her the second chance but since then I haven't been back. It sounds like your stylist really is willing to work with you and if you feel comfortable doing so, by all means let her know you're not satisfied and why!

Although I still don't have a regular stylist, the story does have a happy ending! Very Happy

I go to the Vidal Sassoon academy in either Santa Monica, CA or South Coast in Orange County. Because it's a teaching academy it takes a long time, but I spend only 20 bucks [not including tip] for a $200 haircut and each step in the process is monitored by an instructor.

free skin care · Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:12 am

I agree with giving her a chance to fix it. My regular stylist gave me a sort of Bon Jovi hair cut a few months back. I was so upset, but she was able to fix it. She and I were also having some color issues. Turns out that her idea of golden blond is platinum to me and my golden blonde is golden brown to her. I took her a picture of my idea hair color last week, and it couldn't be more perfect. My hair looks fabulous today, if I do say so myself.

free skin care · Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:23 am

OK, I know NOTHING about this situation as I don't use hairdressers, but my auntie was one and she always said you need a relationship with the client.

If she says go back then go back! She wants your repeat business and it's in your interests to say if it ain't working.

Maybe think of it as a lover. if he/she doesn't know what you like, they can't know can they? If you are polite and wanting to work with them then they should respond positively. If you think they are a rubbish hairdresser then you should look elsewhere though!

free skin care · Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:25 am

Ooooh, I know your pain. I once was the winning bidder on a haircut at a charity auction. I should have been suspicious when I made my appointment and it turned out that the "salon" was in the cutter's home, but I went ahead anyway, and YIKES!! World's worst haircut (or at least in the top ten) and even my husband (who ordinarily wouldn't notice unless I got a Brittany Spears 'do) looked at me and said, "What did you do to your hair? It looks weird." I ended up later that day as a walk-in at a local salon to get it re-cut...
So my auction "bargain" haircut turned out to cost a lot. Do you think I can take the whole think as a tax deduction charitable contribution???

BTW, if you are in Seattle, I highly recommend Studio 904--they pay their staff a salary, so it's a no-tipping salon; they pay great benefits (health care and college tuition assistance), support loads of local charities (free haircuts for kids in homeless shelters and women in battered women shelters for job interviews, etc.) Love their community work, love how they treat their staff, and love their haircuts...

free skin care · Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:27 am

I think you should go back. She won't know how you want your haircut if you don't tell her. Right? I don't think you want to go from hairstylist to hairstylist. Give her another chance.

free skin care · Fri Mar 16, 2007 10:49 am

I feel for you! I recently changed stylists and the first cut I got was superb. I'd taken a picture of a cut I liked with me, told her how much I was willing to fuss with my hair each day, showed her what I liked about the pic & what wouldn't work for me, we discussed the length, etc. Perfecto, I was very happy.

The second time, I wanted the same cut. She remembered my name, that my hair is partly straight/partly wavy (like yours), that she'd had to thin it in parts, and that one section of it does this weird "S" thing, so I thought I was safe. I just wanted a trim and whatever shaping was needed, and she cut off about 2-3". I was shocked to say the least, I was almost speechless... and she could see how upset I was. She did offer to "work" with me, same as you. Unlike you, I actually liked it after about a week, although it was still shorter than I wanted. My hair philosophy is that it grows back, and from the first time I know that she IS a good stylist.

So I'd give yours another chance, tell her what you didn't like about it, and just be very calmly honest. I'd also ask what information she needs to convey what you want. (should you a picture? does she ask for verbal confirmation on length, shaping, etc? Do you have requirements like you need it long enough to put up or tie back? How much effort do you want to put into your hair each day? things like that).
For some reason it can feel intimidating to be straight forward about the good, and the bad (I guess because that same person is now going to cut your hair again!) but if she's professional, she'll listen to what you say. After all, having repeat dedicated customers and good word-of-mouth referrals is their bread & butter.

free skin care · Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:50 pm

Hi,

Last time I went to the barber. I got what I want.
Is this mean I'm lucky? No, i'm not lucky because she won't know how I want my haircut. So I told her everything what I want. To avoid disappointment, It is advised that you just tell her what you want.

P.S. Don't worry about stylist. She would happy if she can make you happy with your hair style.

free skin care · Sat Mar 17, 2007 10:02 pm

The color thing is easy. I had that same problem and went back to her and just said they look great but for me the highlights are too yellow and too wide and she toned it down. No problem.

I have very odd hair. After having my son my back and underlayers are wavy and coarse and the top is heavy and straight. They would always razor my thick back and underlayers and it does not work. Too much texturizing and looks stringy and still. Like brillo. The top can use some razoring to lift it. Every time I go to a new haircutter they do the same thing, even if I explain it to them. The last one got it and I actually think I could use more razor to the top next time.

In the past I have felt that if too much was taken off and there was just too much thinning/razoring out the best is just to grow it out longer. I have gone back many many times with haircutters who are my regular ones though. I am picky, picky - and I have difficult hair. If it drives you really nuts then I would go back. They are less thin skinned than you think and most really do want happy customers. There are some prima donna types that are bothered by returns but she does not sound like that. Be very clear about what is wrong. There might be just a technique she was using that you don't like on your hair, like the razoring I had. If she cuts it shorter to even things out and thicken the look it will grow out just fine.

free skin care · Mon Mar 19, 2007 4:28 pm

Oh boy I feel your pain.I got my hair cut several months ago, and colud't do any thing with it. Went to another stylist,and found out that my hair was cut in to different cuts. The right side was an elevated bob,and the left side was a blunt cut. Embarassed

Of course my dh wanted me to go back and get it fixed.I opinon was, if she couldn't cut it right the first time,why should I go back for more butchering.

free skin care · Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:06 pm

Every time I go to a new hair stylist, s/he always seems to blame the last one for messing up my hair. Laughing

free skin care · Thu Mar 22, 2007 11:30 am

When the hair grow longer, you can change another style!

free skin care · Sat Mar 24, 2007 6:18 pm

Thanks everyone for your support and input. You are all so sweet! I gave my hair a few days thinking I might grow to like it or at least become used to it but I didn't. I have had more than a few cuts/ styles that have been huge changes for me that I have loved instantly. The ones that I don't, I usually never grow to like them. But that's just me.

Well, I went back on Wednesday and she "fixed" it. I had a really hard time approaching simply b/c I am just so worried about hurting someone else's feeling. But she added more highlights where I wanted (although she has a different way of doing them compared to other methods that I prefer the result of) and trimmed my hair a bit. It looks SO much better. I am not sure whether I'll go back or not in the future... but maybe. I just want to find that stylist that knows my hair better then me and that I can absolutely trust.

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