Mother of the Bride
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Sun Jul 15, 2007 3:40 pm

Hi, I need advice. My daughter is getting married next Saturday. Several months ago she picked out a dress that she wanted me to wear to the wedding. Its a halter style with a deep v and lower back..probably down to the middle of my back. I hate to shop so I bought it and had it altered but now I'm having second thoughts. I know...it's a little late for second thoughts at this point! lol I would appreciate your honest feedback though... Do you think the halter style is appropriate for mother of the bride? I feel like it's more a bridesmaid or prom dress. I tried to insert a link so you can see it but I'm not allowed to because Im a new user. If you go to Jasmine bridal dot com and click on the Belsoie link at the top, then click on 'best selling style' its style L8010. It has a detachable train which I am not wearing..I was thinking of having the train made into a shawl but I'm not sure I want to be bothered trying to keep a shawl on!! Anyway, I look forward to your feedback.

free skin care · Sun Jul 15, 2007 5:25 pm

Hi, l@ann -
I couldn't find it. Did you mean L0108? It's a universally flattering style, IMHO, with the empire waist.

Can't tell what it looks like in the back, but if you think it's too revealing, then I agree, the shawl would solve the problem. I don't think, though, I would try to stay "covered up". Just let it drape down your back, hooked over your arms, stand up straight, and have a good time!

What about your hair? If it's long, will you wear it pinned up?

free skin care · Sun Jul 15, 2007 8:06 pm

If your daughter chose the dress for you then I suggest wearing it whether or not you think it's appropriate. This is her day and she clearly finds it appropriate for you, so what's the harm? As nadjazz said, a shawl or a wrap would be a simple solution if the dress makes you feel uncomfortable.

free skin care · Sun Jul 15, 2007 8:46 pm

I let my mum pick her own dress...but I agree. Don't change it now...it's too close to the wedding.

I know you'll look beeeyooootteeeeefffuuullll!!!!!

Very Happy

free skin care · Mon Jul 16, 2007 12:52 am

I think a shawl is a great idea. My mom brought along a shawl to my wedding because she wasn't sure if she would be comfortable in her dress. Her dress was sleeveless and she's quite self-conscious about her arms.

Anyway, she had the shawl on for the ceremony but was fine without it at the reception.

It might be a hassle to carry it, but it also might make you more comfortable and allow you to have a even better time.

In either case, I'm sure you'll look great!

Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:20 am

Thanks for your replies. Yes..I posted the wrong number. It is L0108..theres a link to "picture 2" that shows the back. I think it's a pretty dress but I"m starting to freak about it not being appropriate. I'm 47 and young looking but I just don't want to embarass my self. If I have the seamstress make a shawl I think it will be a pain in the butt to keep on...what do i do with it when I go up on the alter to light the unity candle?? My hair is short so half of my back will be exposed. I never thought of the church and it being inappropriate until this weekend!! A little too late to look for a new dress. I'm soooo nervous about this that I tossed and turned most of the night! Its going to be a long week!!! lol

free skin care · Mon Jul 16, 2007 7:31 am

I got married in a very conservative protestant church (every sermon is the same, no changes, that wouldn't be kosher!) and my bridesmaids had dresses that didn't have straps. They had shawls made of sheer material and the church was fine with it.

If you are really worried about it you should talk to your daughter, but I do not think it would be a good idea to change your dress without consulting her.
That could lead to hurt feelings on both sides.

I think your best bet if you are still concerned is to just talk with her, and ASAP...today if you haven't already.

Keep us posted!

free skin care · Mon Jul 16, 2007 7:46 am

lee@nn wrote:

Thanks for your replies. Yes..I posted the wrong number. It is L0108..theres a link to "picture 2" that shows the back. I think it's a pretty dress but I"m starting to freak about it not being appropriate. I'm 47 and young looking but I just don't want to embarass my self. If I have the seamstress make a shawl I think it will be a pain in the butt to keep on...what do i do with it when I go up on the alter to light the unity candle?? My hair is short so half of my back will be exposed. I never thought of the church and it being inappropriate until this weekend!! A little too late to look for a new dress. I'm soooo nervous about this that I tossed and turned most of the night! Its going to be a long week!!! lol

Oh Leeann, you poor dear! I think you don't have to worry about anything--- 40s is definitely not too old to wear a dress like that. Also, if a shawl would make you feel more comfortable though, I say go for it--- wearing a shawl is actually much easier than it sounds. (I wear a pashmina almost every day--- even over t-shirts! Shock

) One way to wear the shawl and keep your hands free is to tuck a shorter end over your left shoulder, and the wrap the longer end all the way around your right shoulder, across the front of your body, and then deposit it over your left shoulder. (I've seen Angelina Jolie even do this.) it looks very elegant but leaves your hands free--- this is how I wear a shawl when I eat dinner, etc. Keep us updated!

free skin care · Mon Jul 16, 2007 10:40 am

Since your daughter picked it out for you for her wedding, I wouldn't worry about it being inappropriate. If she thinks it is a suitable dress for someone to wear to her wedding, then it is appropriate. I don't think you're too old to wear a halter style, but I agree it would be good to wear a shawl if it will make you feel better.

I hope you have a wonderful time!

free skin care · Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:05 pm

I think that dress is a stunning and very flattering style, but I see what you mean about it possibly being a bit revealing. A shawl or pashmina wrap is a great idea, or sometimes you can get a wrap made out of the same material as the dress - my cousin's mom did this, and it was super-classy and more conservative. Try contacting Jasmine directly to see if they could do this, in the same color and all.

And if you're worried about coverage in the cleavage area, you could maybe look into sewing a sheer lace panel in - I myself am rather well-endowed up top, and a bit too much so for many styles like this one. But I LOVE deep halter dresses, they just look a bit too revealing even at age 26, unless I'm going to a venue that allows for it (which I think most weddings probably don't).

I recently bought a lovely tank-top by Hanky Panky that has a deep plunging V-neck, but there is a sheer lace panel between the twins so they're not bulging out. I can't find a link to post a pic, unfortunately, but hopefully I described it well enough - I would just have a panel that's cut straight-across sewn in between the two breasts. That way it's classy and subtle and stays true to the style that your daughter picked, but it gives you the coverage you're more comfortable in.

The dress wouldn't be QUITE as stunning with this modification, though, IMO, so I guess you just have to decide what's most important to you. Good luck either way, and I'm sure you'll look fabulous no matter what - maybe this is your one excuse to dress in a way you wouldn't pick otherwise, so live it up and know that no-one who can fit into that dress could possibly look bad doing so! Have fun and congrats to your daughter. Smile

free skin care · Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:53 pm

Hi lee@ann! Is it possible to have the extra material from the train made into a shrug? I find a shawl can be a bit of a nuisance myself, and absolutely love the look and ease of a shrug instead! You don't have much time left, but if you find a good dress maker/seamstress, she should be able to whip up a simple, but appropriate shrug by the weekend. You may find that you'll only want to wear it in the church and then remove it once the reception begins. Either way, at least you have the option of feeling a little more covered. Have a fabulous time and best wishes to your daughter!

*ETA* - The dress is beautiful and very appropriate for anyone in their 40's! So don't worry about the style appearing too young - it isn't at all!!!

Sun Jul 22, 2007 7:14 am

Thanks so much for your feedback. You guys are great. The wedding was yesterday and it was FANTASTIC! Perfect weather, beautiful bride, great son-in-law...awesome party...and soooo many compliments on my dress..all that worry for nothing. I did have the seamstress make a shawl but I just couldn't get it to work so I went without it and it was just fine. Thanks again for your suggestions!!

free skin care · Sun Jul 22, 2007 10:15 am

I'm glad it all worked out for you Lee@nn! I like happy endings! Very Happy

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