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Mon Aug 13, 2007 1:14 pm  |
So I came across this site a few months ago and have spent a lot of time turning the information over and over in my mind. If you pick at your face compulsively, or to the point of self mutilation, please read this. I know that it may sound silly, acne is acne right? But the way that some of us deal with it needs to be examined, or I should say "purged" to find the real cause of our obsession.
After reading the site (especially the info on Nicole Brown Simpson) I realized I fell into the category of an anxiety/self injurious picker. Any time I was stressed, bored, angry, depressed, I would take those feelings out on my skin in a very harmful way. And so the cycle started--breakout, pick to the point of injury, release of anxiety, panic, overdo it with products and finally shame that brought on more anxiety. Although, harmful skin picking was not the only way I subconsciously dealt with anxiety/depression through out my life, it was just my current release when I put two and two together. Keep that in mind regarding your own situation when you read the site.
Really if you think about it, it makes total sense, people deal with emotional turmoil in many self abusing ways. Overeating, anorexia, drugs, drinking, promiscuous behavior and yes, obsessive skin picking! Especially those of us that have experienced trauma as a child, or adult in an abusive relationship, etc.
I'm happy to say that now I am trying to deal with anxiety/stress in a more healthy way and have stopped abusing my skin. My whole point is that I want others out there to know that they are not alone and as silly as it sounds you CAN break the cycle of self injury, when you get down to it, its not about your skin but dealing with self esteem issues and seeking help.
I think this forum is an excellent tool to empowering yourself to take charge of your health, with all the wonderful info and people here I just want to do my part.
For more info please visit http://www.stoppickingonme.com/background.php , for a full understanding you will need to read the whole site so set some time aside.
If anyone needs/wants to talk about this and doesn't want to post on this thread, feel free to PM me.  |
_________________
27~Texas~Oily~ fair~ breakout prone~ easily congested~Cysts caused by emotional stress~ Using Ayurvedic skin care and philosophy~ Dry brushing body and face~ On strict less is more routine~ We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars~ Oscar Wilde |
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Mon Aug 13, 2007 3:47 pm |
I feel that I definitely have had this problem. I am just almost done with my divorce, and while living with my STBX I would literally shut myself in the bathroom and pick at my face for like an hour. Every night. And I would always look terrible and I could not stop. I am happy to say though that since he has moved out in October, I have stopped the picking (for the most part) and my skin is finally looking good. I do believe this is a serious problem for some people. I don't know what is was about the bad marraige that made me pick my face but there must be something to it?
I try now to not even touch my face at all anymore, and if there is something that needs to be popped, I do it the right way, with steaming and sterilizing, using tissue, etc.
It has really done wonders for me, I still get pimples, but since I don't mess with them, they don't get big, they come and go so quickly - I wish I would have done this a long time ago - I would have had a lot more pretty skin! |
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Mon Aug 13, 2007 4:52 pm |
Glad to hear you are better Amylola! Divorce sucks. Been there. Im still weaning myself off "scratching" (usually occurs when Im nervous--I have no idea Im even doing it at the time) but yes, for me picking is a thing of the past as well!  |
_________________
27~Texas~Oily~ fair~ breakout prone~ easily congested~Cysts caused by emotional stress~ Using Ayurvedic skin care and philosophy~ Dry brushing body and face~ On strict less is more routine~ We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars~ Oscar Wilde |
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Mon Aug 13, 2007 5:06 pm |
I am also really bad about cuticles, ingrown hairs, etc. It is so compulsive, isn't it? For me it is super hard to resist at work, b/c of the flourescent lights in the bathroom, you can see everything!
But yes I am getting better, and glad to hear you got thru it as well!
Thanks, Vonstella |
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Mon Aug 13, 2007 6:04 pm |
I think I have this too! I find that when I'm fidgity I need to do something with my hands! When i was younger I was a compulsive nail biter and cuticle biter/picker/ripper. I'm still bad with my cuticles (but they at least look better now that I use BB's cuticle cream :S) but I'm always touching my face when I'm nervous. Coincidentally enough, most of my breakouts are along my jawline. During stressful times I also notice that I pick and squeeze at my face more than usual as it serves as a distraction, and gives me the satisfaction that something is in my control and getting done...ugh, not a good habit!
And a hug for you amylola! I'm sure you're pull through and be stronger for it! |
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Mon Aug 13, 2007 6:09 pm |
Thank you Vonstella !
Reading this brought tears to my eyes. I am
47 yrs old and have suffered  with this
problem for years. I will check out the websites
that you mentioned. My skin is healing right now
and I appreciate your courage to talk about this
subject. |
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Mon Aug 13, 2007 6:49 pm |
| DoubleTrouble wrote: |
| I appreciate your courage to talk about this subject. |
My thoughts exactly. |
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Mon Aug 13, 2007 7:48 pm |
Thanks for posting these links, VS--- I've been thinking a lot about this topic. Honestly, though, I'm not entirely convinced that all face-picking is a sign of underlying neuroses. Sure, I've fallen victim to some over-zealous picking in my time (usually happens the first time I see a magnifying mirror in a while), however, by and large the pimple popping I indulge in is purely to relieve the discomfort the pressure is causing me. When there is significant pressure behind one of the dreaded Mt. Vesuviuses that my fertile skin tends to grow, the pain and discomfort is constant, and the only relief is found by extracting the offending blemish and relieving the pressure. My husband is the same way. He's the least vain, most laid-back man you will ever meet. He's completely unconcerned about his appearance, and can't even be bothered to shave unless I ahem, gently remind him. However, when a pimple crops up he's bothered not by how it affects his appearance, but by the pain and discomfort, and he promptly extracts it in order to experience relief. I'm not trying to dimiss this issue by any means, and I agree whole-heartedly that the people who allow their stress to manifest itself in the form of face picking should keep their hands off of their faces and seek to relieve their tension elsewhere. That being said, no matter what the magazines or anyone else says about how it's best to let the pimple run its natural course, when I'm faced with a ripe blemish just screaming for a pressure release, you better believe I'm still going to obliterate that sucker!  |
_________________
27, sensitive/reactive/acne prone skin, dark brown hair, blue eyes, possibly the palest woman alive... |
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Mon Aug 13, 2007 8:16 pm |
HannahLee - thank you for your kindness!
Manslayerliz - I also agree that if it is a white pimple ready to pop - you gotta do it! I can't leave it sitting there on my face. Although I have noticed that the truly painful ones are the ones that just don't seem to "pop" and that I usually make it worse by trying to do so. They usually will go away by themselves fairly quickly if I leave them alone, which is so hard to do!
I remember my STBX used to just grill me every night after my "session" in the bathroom when I would come out looking like a wreck, and then buying every zit cream or skin careline known to man to try to fix it. I just wish I could have stopped - but it truly is a compulsion. It is still so hard to leave my face alone sometimes, and sometimes I will give in and I pretty much ALWAYS regret it. |
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Mon Aug 13, 2007 8:26 pm |
I definitely am in this category, and it is indeed a vicious cycle. I can't think what my neuroses might be, other than perfectionism, but I've been doing this for decades  I feel a relief from and release of anxiety/nervousness/pressure/etc when I squeeze my face. I only have really congested pores, but I also feel this when I tweeze my eyebrows. I've regularly drawn blood or made open wounds on my face.
It's now catching up with me, though, b/c it takes weeks for my skin to heal the older I get. The IFP BHA/AHA does a really good job of cleaning out my pores, but they're not perfectly clear. I'm trying really hard to keep my hands off my face since I'm sick and tired of having to use concealer.
Thanks VS for the info and bringing this out into the open. |
_________________
46, curly dk blonde hair, fair, blue eyes, very oily T-zone. HGs: Tazorac .05% gel; Avene/Bioderma s/s (very high spf AND ppd); Cellbone vit Cie 20%; Cellbone Hyperpeptides; IFP 5% bha/10% aha; Obagi Clear; 'curly girl' method (no poo, just co wash) for my 3b curls. |
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Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:08 pm |
Yes, thank you for your courage, von.
I am a picker. I only started recently (in the past few years... ok five, maybe...), although I've had acne forever it seems. I know that when I'm bored or frustrated, or just don't want to plain think about life's problems... I pick. It seems to give me much pleasure. I have forced myself to stop picking my face (as much, but I still do when I can spot them.), but the rest of my body still suffers. I simply can't wait until a pimple comes to 'a head,' and I have learned the stages so well I can pick a pimple out before it even has a chance.
I have looked at the website, you first mentioned, and recommended it to many. I still can't come to heal the real problems in life. Can't seem to explain myself to anyone that will listen.
I'm so happy for you amylola. I have found that if I take care of myself, the less I pick... I'm working on my body, and my relationships. |
_________________
combo - 33y/o routine: Clarisonic;PSF 5% BHA; Nia24 SS, KS Deep tissue repair, KIJ, quench, Detox daily clens;  's: Lips2Kiss; PSF: Pumpkin Peel, Papya cleanser, Acne Mud, R&R toner; Revitalash; |
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Mon Aug 13, 2007 11:31 pm |
| amylola wrote: |
| I feel that I definitely have had this problem. I am just almost done with my divorce, and while living with my STBX I would literally shut myself in the bathroom and pick at my face for like an hour. Every night. And I would always look terrible and I could not stop. |
My STBX has been causing me so much stress I've been picking like crazy! And tweezing, which is picking's OCD cousin 
The only thing that gets me to stop is stress reduction...massages, hot tubs, and a really good divorce attorney. |
_________________
Blond, Swedish/Cherokee, normal/dry skin, a sucker for products, gizmos, and treatments that are "age-defying." Just hit the big 4-0 |
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Tue Aug 14, 2007 12:02 am |
| manslayerliz wrote: |
| Thanks for posting these links, VS--- I've been thinking a lot about this topic. Honestly, though, I'm not entirely convinced that all face-picking is a sign of underlying neuroses. Sure, I've fallen victim to some over-zealous picking in my time (usually happens the first time I see a magnifying mirror in a while), however, by and large the pimple popping I indulge in is purely to relieve the discomfort the pressure is causing me. When there is significant pressure behind one of the dreaded Mt. Vesuviuses that my fertile skin tends to grow, the pain and discomfort is constant, and the only relief is found by extracting the offending blemish and relieving the pressure. My husband is the same way. He's the least vain, most laid-back man you will ever meet. He's completely unconcerned about his appearance, and can't even be bothered to shave unless I ahem, gently remind him. However, when a pimple crops up he's bothered not by how it affects his appearance, but by the pain and discomfort, and he promptly extracts it in order to experience relief. I'm not trying to dimiss this issue by any means, and I agree whole-heartedly that the people who allow their stress to manifest itself in the form of face picking should keep their hands off of their faces and seek to relieve their tension elsewhere. That being said, no matter what the magazines or anyone else says about how it's best to let the pimple run its natural course, when I'm faced with a ripe blemish just screaming for a pressure release, you better believe I'm still going to obliterate that sucker! |
Oh, no, trust me, if something needs to get out its gonna be picked. I wont let that just sit out in the open! What I mean is hours of picking at stuff--just to pick. Things that are not even a problem. It goes much deeper than just a "ripe" blemish. But I know what you mean! |
_________________
27~Texas~Oily~ fair~ breakout prone~ easily congested~Cysts caused by emotional stress~ Using Ayurvedic skin care and philosophy~ Dry brushing body and face~ On strict less is more routine~ We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars~ Oscar Wilde |
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Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:08 am |
heather- yes i agree, the stress from going thru a divorce is definitely hellish. At first especially - although I liked the losing weight part!!
I am in Colorado too - maybe ill see you in court! |
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Tue Aug 14, 2007 11:52 am |
this theory explains so much...i've gone through periods in my life when i've definitely picked more than others...but mostly out of, i think, a combination of bordom & anxiety.
i think i also pick because it's a comfort to me...i have vivid memories from when i was little, of being out at late night dinners with my mom (she was single & quite sociable until she married by stepdad) & being very young would put my head on my mom's lap under the table to fall asleep & she would always be stroking my face & very lightly 'remove' anything that was rough. i remember this being the most comforting feeling.
i'll have to work on this...thanks for posting. |
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Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:23 pm |
My helpful hints for compulsive pickers is to vow to only use your extractor only and not use your fingers and to use as close to sterile technique as possible. I wash my extractor and keep it submerged in a container of rubbing alcohol and will only work on one area per evening. I try to extract the blackheads/whiteheads first and use a tissue between the extractor and skin when I have the occasional zit.
I'm glad to hear about someone else who picks at other people's skin. My husband and kids are totally unsupportive of my ministrations. I sometimes bribe my 12 y/o to let me at her occasional "irresistible" zits.
I find the picking (of myself or others) to be calming and almost meditative, so I have found it hard to quit. My husband jokes about our primate ancestors and their grooming behavior. |
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Thu Aug 16, 2007 8:54 pm |
I honestly think that if I didn't see raised bumps /clogged pores, I wouldn't pick. Or at lease I'd really like to believe that.
As for the extractor, I just can never get anything with that, only fingers. But then it seems the extractor could be just as addictive.
Just tonight I came home from eating out. Looked immediately in the mirror and saw bumps and went for them. Before my hands touched my face, I caught it and stopped. Whew. I backed away from the mirror. |
_________________
late 30's, medium/olive tone, learned recently I'm oily, not dry and my pores clog if you just look at them, love natual products...in beautiful Seattle |
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Thu Aug 16, 2007 10:23 pm |
| does it count as picking if i pick off little dry patches of skin while doing OCM....? |
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Thu Aug 16, 2007 11:12 pm |
| amami aya wrote: |
| does it count as picking if i pick off little dry patches of skin while doing OCM....? |
i do that all the time too!!! but i wonder how i could get rid of this habit?!  |
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Sat Nov 29, 2008 7:02 am |
Ingrown hairs are my weakness, and the little monsters scar every time I pick them, but if I don't pick, then I have to look at the stupid purple hair bump under my skin. Tendskin doesn't help. Any recommendations would be appreciated  |
_________________
Best, Jeannine (40s, fair skin, hazel eyes, sensitive skin). To fight the dread lemming sickness, I promise not to rave about a product until I have used it for a long while. |
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Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:09 am |
| I had a real problem with that when I had acne. I just made my skin look worse...All I wanted to do was get the pus out...I'm glad that isn't an issue anymore. |
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Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:20 am |
| Jeannine wrote: |
| Ingrown hairs are my weakness, and the little monsters scar every time I pick them, but if I don't pick, then I have to look at the stupid purple hair bump under my skin. Tendskin doesn't help. Any recommendations would be appreciated |
Interesting thread! Jeannine, my niece has this and her derm rec Retin-A for her which helps. He said it is a heriditary thing.
I have to say, I am a compulsive plucker....when I was younger I plucked my eyebrows til now they don't grow back...they are very sparse. Also....(shame: nosehair plucker...) altho those little buggers DO grow back...I can feel them growing and it really gets to me. Obsessive, you betcha! |
_________________
✪ My go-to products: MyFawnie.BigCartel.com ✪ |
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Sun Nov 30, 2008 7:27 pm |
It's strange, but i noticed that the less i'm obsessing about my skin, the better it seems to be. I think the effects on the skin might be both psychological (i mean directly psyche-hormone related), and more direct - like over-picking, or over-applying products in our over-concern about our looks.
Aren't we strange, complicated beings? |
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Mon Dec 01, 2008 9:21 pm |
| Thanks, vonstella, I didn't realize so many people are having the same problem, I over-picked my skin and there are some scars on my face, my skin gets better when I'm too busy to look into the mirror and pick it !! |
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