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sarasadie
 
Joined: 17 Sep 2007
Posts: 0
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Mon Sep 17, 2007 7:55 pm  |
When I went to high school in Sweden I had a male best friend. Eric. We never " did" anything but we wanted. We went to college and lost contact.
Now, 15 years later he found me, literally, on Facebook. I was just about to delete my account I never used but my boss gave me work so I forgot.
And there he was. And there were all the old feelings..all over again...
We havnt been able to stop messaging or IM-ing ever since and I think I'm in love. Seriously!!
I should know! I'm 31 and have had 3 VEERRY serious relationships. I have a boyfriend but we are on different pages in life. I want to move back to Europe and he doesnt ( i am swedish) "Friend" has a gf he sees once a month. ( she studies in a different country)They see eachother once a month.
He has said he feels the same but is confused his feelings can be so strong towards me since we havn't seen eachother for 15 years.
This is weird. I must be crazy. Any advice is welcome!!!
ps He lives in the country I have always wanted to move to.( england- this is fate, not my head..) |
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Mon Sep 17, 2007 8:10 pm |
| sarasadie wrote: |
When I went to high school in Sweden I had a male best friend. Eric. We never " did" anything but we wanted. We went to college and lost contact.
Now, 15 years later he found me, literally, on Facebook. I was just about to delete my account I never used but my boss gave me work so I forgot.
And there he was. And there were all the old feelings..all over again...
We havnt been able to stop messaging or IM-ing ever since and I think I'm in love. Seriously!!
I should know! I'm 31 and have had 3 VEERRY serious relationships. I have a boyfriend but we are on different pages in life. I want to move back to Europe and he doesnt ( i am swedish) "Friend" has a gf he sees once a month. ( she studies in a different country)They see eachother once a month.
He has said he feels the same but is confused his feelings can be so strong towards me since we havn't seen eachother for 15 years.
This is weird. I must be crazy. Any advice is welcome!!!
ps He lives in the country I have always wanted to move to.( england- this is fate, not my head..) |
My advice is to take your time. Long distance relationship is tough because you can't really get to know the person unless you spend time together doing stuff together, not just talking. If you just IM or email, it's easy to say the right thing. You probably won't get in to a fight and learn how the person behaves in that situation. If you can date the guy for real for at least a year until the honeymoon period is over, so you can learn his true self (good and bad habits), it would help you in the relationship more. Good luck. |
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Mon Sep 17, 2007 8:10 pm |
It sounds like something you should consider, and perhaps pursue wholeheartedly. If the feelings last after the "initial excitement", then maybe it was meant to be.  |
_________________
To Love and to be Loved... what greator Joy can there be? |
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Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:59 pm |
| Why did you lose contact back in college? I wouldn't jump right into a relationship. Spend more time writing. Why not visit him in England? I know of a similar situation. An acquaintance who reunited with her high school sweetheart at the age of 61! Twenty years later and they still have a wonderful life. The Romantic me says "Go for it!" the Practical me says caution. So perhaps Go for it with caution. |
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Mon Sep 17, 2007 10:13 pm |
I totally agree that it's easy to get lost in written contact, and that it's best to take things slowly if the relationship is long-distance - my mom married her current husband after only six months of long-distance dating, and I'm sad to say she just told me the other day that she's filing for divorce.  She says she wished she'd listened to my (at the time bitchy and not at all well-delivered - I was a snotty 20-year-old!) advice about not rushing into things right away. I've never been less happy to be proven right.
But then again, it sounds like it could have some potential. I say go for a trip to visit him - things are always different in person, and you'll have a MUCH better sense of what you really want if you see what your vibe is like when you're really together. But remember, too, that a visit like that is very much a bubble within the total reality, and that life won't always be like a vacation - but still, worth a shot! I say look for a cheap off-season ticket and see where it goes. Better to find out than to forever be wondering, and not really looking for other relationships because of the big What If with him!
Whatever you do, best of luck - how very exciting to rekindle an old flame like that, tres romantique! Even if things don't end up working out, you'll have a fabulous story to tell someday at your bachelorette party.  |
_________________
32, fair hair/eyes/skin, always a mix of dry/oily/sensitive/acne/clogged pores. But I keep getting compliments on my skin, so something must be working! Beauty blog at http://heliotro.pe; online dating coaching at http://theheartographer.com |
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Tue Sep 18, 2007 6:15 am |
Oh, I am so excited for you. Seeing him will be very telling,so take the good advice given here and try to keep perspective.
That being said,please keep us informed of how things go....I would love to live vicariously through you
I have an "ex" form highschool(20 years ago) whom I still have feelings for. I found him on the internet after over a decade. I am married now(told my husband about him) and he has his own life, but the feelings will always be there. We both respect eachother's lives, and keep things "light"in our e-mails. But it is nice to know that the bond is still there and will always be.
It's very romantic,but you have to keep your feet on the ground and be realistic.
Good Luck!!
Sorry, this was a post about *You* and I turned into a post about me!! Just wanted to share my experience. |
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Fair,sensitive,combination, skin. 38 yrs old~ |
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Thu Sep 27, 2007 3:49 pm |
This is exciting! I think because you have not been in contact for a long time, that there is excitement but long distance does not work. Or at least I never noticed that it doesn't.
If you know that you don't want to move back to Europe, then it is really up to him to come here. And that would be a risk for him because if the relationship does not work out, he can't find a job, etc.
I am still happy for you but don't put your life on hold because of the limited relationship you already have with him. |
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