age differences....
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Thu Oct 14, 2004 7:14 pm

So, how much is too much? I mean, in terms of relationships, how much of a difference - older or younger - is reasonable between you and the other party?

free skin care · Fri Oct 15, 2004 4:33 am

It's the people that matter, not the age. I think everybody is different and if it feels right go for it. True love has no boundaries. Neither has lust.
Lori

free skin care · Fri Oct 15, 2004 7:48 am

I think it only matters if its a serious relationship, one that has a projected future. The key thing, I think, is having the same goals, i.e.having kids, etc. If its not expected to be a long term relationship, I don't think age matters a bit...you just have to be realistic...then go for it! Very Happy

free skin care · Fri Oct 15, 2004 8:59 am

I personally would feel really uncomfortable sleeping with someone I could have given birth to (I don't mean as a 'gymslip mum', I mean as an adult). I also really distrust men who only ever go for women under 30 when they are in their 50s. There does seem to be some kind of scientific law that says that the older and richer a guy is, the younger his girlfriend. I don't blame the Anna Nicoles of this world, but I do think the men who use them are pretty pervy.

That said, my friend's parents had a 30 year age difference and were blissfully happy until the day her dad died at the age of 95,forty odd years after meeting. Smile

free skin care · Fri Oct 15, 2004 7:05 pm

I guess my relationship is one for the record books - I'm 14 yrs older than my guy and we've been together for almost 15 years Shock

Truth is, he's an 'old soul' in that his tastes in music, cars, movies etc. hark back to before he was born!!! On the other hand, I'm eternally young in my outlook, friends are younger, my attitude is young and I look after myself - so the gap in age is not as awful as it sounds. So in answer to the question ..... age makes no difference in the world - I refuse to be influenced by a calendar!!!! Laughing

Anya

Sat Oct 16, 2004 10:53 am

loopylori wrote:

True love has no boundaries. Neither has lust.
Lori

now that's what i'm talkin' about!

anya, what you posted is really encouraging. i'm looking at a 15 year difference. i guess maybe i worry too much about how other people would see it...

free skin care · Sun Oct 17, 2004 6:48 am

What are you waiting for? Go for it Laughing

Who cares what other people think anyway.....

Anya

free skin care · Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:44 am

I think you should just go for it...If you're both happy, what does it matter what age you both are....

My Aunty and Uncle have a 18 year age gap, and they've been together for as long as I can remember....

Mon Oct 18, 2004 6:30 am

I think it's more a matter of maturity and common interests and goals (and also attraction thrown in the mix of course! Laughing

) rather than the actual age.

Mon Oct 18, 2004 2:03 pm

Age difference..either way...is not an issue if you are together for the right reasons. Love. My husband is 18 yrs older than me and we have been married 38 years. I have a friend whose husband is 13 yrs younger than she and they have been together many years as well......don't worry about it. If it is meant to be, it will find a way TO be, regardless of any age differential.

free skin care · Wed Oct 20, 2004 12:29 pm

GuapaGirl wrote:

I personally would feel really uncomfortable sleeping with someone I could have given birth to (I don't mean as a 'gymslip mum', I mean as an adult).

Hey Liz - what's does 'gymslip' mean? I'm thinking you're referring to a teenage pregnancy, but I've never heard that particular phrase before so I'm guessing it's a Brit thing....?

As for romantic age differences...I've always had a hankering for older men...I'm not talking Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, I mean a man who's 5-10 years older than me. Probably because they should (theoretically) have had time to sow their wild oats first...of course, a few years age difference doesn't matter a damn at my age now, but you can imagine how...errrr...CONCERNED my little preference made my poor mother when I was a teenager!!

Bottomline: as long as the age difference doesn't translate into "jailbait" and get you locked up in a prison cell, to hell with what society thinks!! Besides, in America, Demi Moore has singlehandedly made it acceptable for a December/May relationship with her boytoy Ashton Kutcher. Everyone thought it was just a fling or something, but haven't they been together for over two years now??

Carrie

Wed Oct 20, 2004 2:25 pm

Personally, I am not interested in people who are more than about 2 years younger than myself (I'll be 30 on Oct. 29th), and will date older men within about a ten-year age range of myself.

Younger men, at least when I had dated them while I was their age: they were very uncertain of themselves, wishy-washy, and indecisive. Though I am certain that there may be exceptions to this, most guys in their early-mid twenties want fun, room to grow, etc.

On the opposite end of the scale: I was engaged to a guy who was nine years my senior. I was in my mid-20's, and he in his 30's. His maturity was nice, but I was still feeling my own way through my twenties.

Personally, I cannot imagine dating or marrying someone significantly older than myself. I want children, and I wonder what fatherhood must be like for a man in his 50's. Chasing around a toddler? Hmm! Never say never.

free skin care · Wed Oct 20, 2004 3:19 pm

Caspersmum wrote:Personally, I cannot imagine dating or marrying someone significantly older than myself. I want children, and I wonder what fatherhood must be like for a man in his 50's. Chasing around a toddler? Hmm! Never say never.

My huband and I were married at 20 and 21. We have been together near 40 years. Our family was complete by the time I was 23.

Now we have three grandchildren. Must say my hubby has so much love and energy to give to those toddlers! Older and wiser. Sometimes I think that we were so young when we had our children (just kids ourself) we did not realize what treasures we had.

So what I am saying, is an older man can make an awesome Dad (if he is your soulmate).

free skin care · Wed Oct 20, 2004 9:28 pm

my boyfriends godfather is in his 70's and chases around his 4 year old grandson all day long...

free skin care · Sun Oct 24, 2004 1:32 pm

i actually need some advice from you guys Smile

i just turned 30, and few months ago started dating someone 4 years younger. I have always dated men who are 5-10 yrs. older, never someone younger. However, i was so attracted to him that I decided to go out with him.
Though I am very attracted to him I am not sure if it will last...in addition to everything it is long distance...we live in different states...i enjoy talking to him and spending time with him ...one thing bother's me though...he never calls me on weekend...and if i leave a message...does not call right away...when i pointed this out to him he told me that he turns his phone off on weekends and the fact that he does not call does not mean that he doesn't like me....Should i just break up ....or wait a little....i appreciate you advice

free skin care · Sun Oct 24, 2004 2:05 pm

Difficult one. If you don't see it being long term but you are having fun just relax and enjoy it whilst you can.
If you are looking for more commitment sounds like you should look around for someone else.
I know loads of girls, women who are with guys younger than themselves varying between 2 and 12 years and they are all really happy. It can work
Good luck with whatever choice you make.

free skin care · Sun Oct 24, 2004 2:13 pm

thanks...my problem is that i can't date for fun...i am too serious...i guess i will break up

free skin care · Mon Oct 25, 2004 4:01 pm

The fact that he's "unavailable" on week-ends is a red flag. Sounds to me like he's either married or in another relationship already. Find someone closer to home, then you can keep an eye on him Laughing

.

Good luck!

Anya

free skin care · Tue Oct 26, 2004 3:15 am

anya wrote:

The fact that he's "unavailable" on week-ends is a red flag. Sounds to me like he's either married or in another relationship already.

My thoughts exactly!!

free skin care · Tue Oct 26, 2004 10:47 pm

anya wrote:

The fact that he's "unavailable" on week-ends is a red flag. Sounds to me like he's either married or in another relationship already. Find someone closer to home, then you can keep an eye on him Laughing

.
Good luck!
Anya

I've been seeing the authors of a new book interviewed a lot on TV and it might be one you want to read. It's written by two of the Sex in the City writers and is becoming wildly popular among women, spawning discussion groups, etc.

The title is "He's Just Not That Into You" and if you put that into a search engine, you find all kinds of sites. Also available on Amazon.com.

It gives women strategies to value their own worth enough to dump men that give that kind of signal. Might be worth checking out. Most of the women who've tried what it teaches are singing it's praises and say they feel better than they have in years.

JUDY

free skin care · Wed Oct 27, 2004 10:40 am

since i was asking for advice i decided to post an update..i broke up with my boyfriend today...i deserve better Smile

thanks guys

free skin care · Wed Oct 27, 2004 10:41 am

since i asked for advice i decided to post an update..i broke up with my boyfriend today...i deserve better Smile

thanks guys

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