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Fri Nov 25, 2011 2:25 pm  |
I find it's quite difficult to make frds with the same interest or that clicked as you get older. It was easier when you were still in school but once after graduation and when you start working f/t, it makes it even harder...well at least it is for me 
Perhaps I spend too much time with my bf but since now he's working overseas, I would like to have some close like-minded female frds to just hang out and have fun!
I do admit that I'm quite a shy & passive person so that's not gonna help either in making frds. |
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Sat Nov 26, 2011 1:01 pm |
How old are you Stardusty?
I agree with you. Those old friends and I have drifted apart because our goals was important to us. I ran into some old classmates, and I had no interest to be friends with them, even though I wouldn't mind having more friends.
I didn't like their superior attitude. All they wanted to know was what my status is.
I think people today want friends that is a match and above their status to secure their own personal needs.
I am too secure for a need to do that.
Hopefully others will join your post and share their opinion. |
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Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:22 pm |
Hi Skincare, thanks for replying to my post as u r the only one
I'm 30yrs old now to be exact. I only have like a few close frds that I can share my feelings with. I can talk to my sisters too but sometimes I prefer frds that I can hang out for dinner/drinks, movies, or events and stuff...u know those fun things.
I do have to agree that after graduation, ppl tend to compare your status with others such as your career, bf, or stuff that you use. They tend to befriend those that might benefit them in terms of career and life. There's no such thing as pure frdship anymore like when u guys were back in school. They might be either jealous of you or look down on you.  |
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Sun Nov 27, 2011 7:20 am |
I'm much older than you, Stardustdy, but I would have to say that each stage of your life is different. After college there's a big drop in the number of friends you have, just due to life's circumstances. You aren't in a situation where you are surrounded by 1000s of kids your own age.
Then you are in the workforce, and you cultivate friends there.
When you have an SO, or you are married, you develop friends with other couples.
When you have children, you develop friends with the parents of your kids' friends.
Along the way, you develop friends with your neighbors.
For me, an introvert, it takes more effort to establish friendships outside of the school setting, but they end up being more satisfying. |
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Sun Nov 27, 2011 7:29 am |
| natalie2 wrote: |
I'm much older than you, Stardustdy, but I would have to say that each stage of your life is different. After college there's a big drop in the number of friends you have, just due to life's circumstances. You aren't in a situation where you are surrounded by 1000s of kids your own age.
Then you are in the workforce, and you cultivate friends there.
When you have an SO, or you are married, you develop friends with other couples.
When you have children, you develop friends with the parents of your kids' friends.
Along the way, you develop friends with your neighbors.
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This exactly. I had the most friends, aside from when I was in school, when my son was young, as you tend to make friends with the other parents. I have developed more friendships now that I returned to school! I think each stage of ones life brings a different set of friends. I also think when you are married and work full time, it is a lot harder to have friendships as so much of your time is consumed by other things. |
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Sun Nov 27, 2011 10:22 am |
I agree with Riley. We had the most friends, especially couples, during the school age of our child. Now that we are older, it is harder.
It is even harder as couples to me, when you have so many of our friends who have split up or divorced.
And it is hard to meet new ones, especially female. Hubby meets new ones everytime he golfs and suddenly he has another BMF!
If you could, join a book group or bunco night or see if there is a yahoo community board for your neighborhood. We have one in my neighborhood and they are always organizing wine night, book group, beauty/scentsy/kitchen sales parties and the likes. |
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Joined the 50 club several years back, blonde w/ fair/sensitive skin, Texas humidity and prone to rosacea, light breakouts and sunburns, combo skin type, starting to see sundamage and fine lines |
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Sun Nov 27, 2011 12:09 pm |
| Stardustdy wrote: |
I'm 30yrs old now to be exact. I only have like a few close frds that I can share my feelings with. I can talk to my sisters too but sometimes I prefer frds that I can hang out for dinner/drinks, movies, or events and stuff...u know those fun things.
I do have to agree that after graduation, ppl tend to compare your status with others such as your career, bf, or stuff that you use. They tend to befriend those that might benefit them in terms of career and life. There's no such thing as pure frdship anymore like when u guys were back in school. They might be either jealous of you or look down on you. |
I stopped making friends when I was about your age and since then so much has changed due to social networking especially Facebook. I am not interested in being friends with people I knew back in the day and somehow have lost touch with my post hs friends also....... I chalk it up to the fact that I've changed and am not the same person I used to be.
Also I've studied my vedic chart the last few years and my house of friends (11th) isn't real well configured-- I'm super friendly and up until the time I was about 30 would have opened up to just about anyone. But now I understand the chart is saying it isn't a real good idea for me to do that. I have a lot of "frenemies" it says yes the chart actually says that. I never really did have a good vibe feeling about a lot of the people who flowed in to my life when I was younger but just ignored. Now with FB it's kind of hard to do that..... It's just all a lot clearer to me. I feel bad about not making friends but also feel this is what my higher self ordered so I could spend more time with me so I can work on myself.
If you want to do your chart and find out what the story is go to astro.com and plug in your data then click on hindu/lahiri choice. Then go to this site and read away, you can learn everything there is to know about yourself and pretty much anyone:
http://barbarapijan.com/bpa/bAstrHom.htm |
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Sun Dec 11, 2011 8:42 pm |
| gretchen wrote: |
... If you want to do your chart and find out what the story is go to astro.com and plug in your data then click on hindu/lahiri choice. Then go to this site and read away, you can learn everything there is to know about yourself and pretty much anyone:
http://barbarapijan.com/bpa/bAstrHom.htm |
Hi Gretchen,
I went to astro.com, but could not find a "hindu/lahiri choice" for a chart.  There's a really long article on vedic charts, but that's all I could find. Would you be interested in pointing us to the location for a hindu/lahiri chart on astro.com? Many thanks!
MG |
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Sat Dec 17, 2011 5:09 pm |
Joining a club or an organization is a very good way to make new friends. If you think about it, school was something not dissimilar. Being a group of individuals of the same approximate age with similar outlooks,goals and aspirations. I would recommend a site called Meetup. It is North America wide with thousands of interesting groups which are fun and easy to join.
It is certainly a challenge as we get older to get out and try new things. We tend to be set in our ways and perhaps if there is a general lack of enthusiasm then it becomes easier to just stay home. In this case a little effort goes a long way.
My husband found Meetup and joined a club for men in their thirties and forties who are car enthusiasts. He meets with the boys once a week and they have social events where even us wives can go. There are groups for everyone in every situation.
Nancy  |
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Sat Dec 17, 2011 6:09 pm |
I have met great friends through exercise classes. I do Zumba at three or four nights a week and the class has a Facebook list where we can also connect. I have gotten to know people of all ages through this and we have a major common bond...we love zumba!  |
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female,"50 something" medium to thick normal skin, no wrinkles,Lightstim,Easy Eye Solutions,Green Smoothies,Ageless Secret Gold, Pico Toner,Beautiful Image |
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Sat Dec 17, 2011 9:59 pm |
| I agree about exercise classes - getting out and doing things in general. I've made friends through ballroom dancing (a good social event also) and through work. Join clubs of things that interest you - gardening is good - I have some through a coop I'm involved in. If you like Bowling, skiing, running, etc - find others who share your stuff |
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Enjoying dermalogica with my ASG and Pico toner ** Disclosure: I was a participant without remuneration in promotional videos for Ageless Secret Gold and the Neurotris Pico Emmy event. |
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Fri Jan 13, 2012 6:34 pm |
Interesting discussion. As I've gotten older I've found that the quality friends is so much worth more than quantity of friends. Like Gretchen, I don't care to keep in touch with every single "friend" I ever had in my life. I have a circle of friends that I keep in touch with every now and then and an inner circle of friends that I could trust my life to and whom i am in touch with more frequently. Why a circle? Because while I do have one or two friends who know me inside out, I find having a circle of friends works for me because each of them brings something new/different to my life and I don't have to burden them with all of mine but can share one part of me with one, another part with another, etc. I also love that my circle of friends are the tried and true kind who know that whatever I entrust to them is a part of me and that I expect them to keep it safe and not to share it with any other no matter how many others seem to be in the loop. As crazy as that sounds, I too do unto my friends as I'd have them do unto me. I may be entrusted with a secret that the whole world knows but you can bet your bottom dollar, no one will ever know I know the secret even if it becomes the news only because my friend asked me to keep it to myself. I expect the same faithfulness from those I would have in my circle of friends.
Otherwise, I do love people in general and I do have a lot of acquaintances. And I try to be nice to all people I meet because every kindness you do does return to you somehow and it is not that hard to be nice to others. So while the people that come and go in my life may not be friends in the full sense of the word, I do find I like to interact with me--even if just in small doses--and those few exchanges do make me feel happy to know them.
Anyway, I think I went off on a tangent (Sorry)> What I really wanted to share with Stardustdy is that Dale Carnegie has written a lot of great self-help books and while I'd recommend getting a copy of this book so you have it and get the message in full, here's sneak peek/summary of what is in the book:
http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/win-friends.html
I hope that helps. |
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