Bicultural Relationships?
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free skin care · Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:22 pm

Do any of you have experience with a bicultural relationship?

I am a Caucasian, North American WASP. My sweet loving partner is Latin American Catholic, born and raised in South America, moved here to the U.S. a few years ago to work and start a new career.
English is my primary language. My fluency in Spanish is limited to reading and understanding the spoken language. I struggle with speaking the language.
His primary language is Spanish, he understands and reads English, struggles with speaking the language.
Given all this, amazingly we don't have many communication problems. I speak English, he responds in Spanish and vice versa, lol.
In the past, I have dated men from my own background - guys whose primary language was English, but their listening and communication skills were so poor, that the communication is those relationships was far worse than this one, actually.

Anyway, back to my point. We love each other very much. I am happy with the way things are now: we each have our own apartments and lives and we get together on the weekends and sometimes during the week.
He wants to take things a step further, perhaps live together and one day marry.
My one and only marriage ended 6 years ago. I have come to enjoy my independence and solo life. I appreciate simple companionship without mingling finances and house chores...
There is also the thought that one day, when he retires, he will likely return to South America and ask me to go with him and I can never see myself leaving America completely.

I would appreciate any stories or advice from anyone who has been in a similar relationship.

BFG

PS/ Our nicknames are Ricky and Lucy Smile

free skin care · Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:51 pm

Hi BFG,
I am Caucasian as well and fell in love with a man from Central America. I was on vacation and when we met it was like we had known each other for a thousand years. I also speak very little spanish, although I can read it. When we met, his English was "ok" (now it is perfect).

We were together for 2 wonderful years. I knew that if our relationship was to continue, I would have to move to Central America. I could of adapted there, but moving to the US would have killed him. He literally lived in a place where there were no street names... just beautiful jungle and a great community that made me think that this is what it must of been like to live back in the 1950s LOL!

Anyway, we did not have any issues about having different backgrounds. It was fun to learn about another culture and be with someone whose life experiences and outlook were so different than mine. I grew from it.

How long have you been in a relationship? I would really make sure that you are on the same page about what you want out of life (marriage, etc).

See how it goes, you never know.. you may want to take a leap someday and move to another country.

hope that helps
Smile

Edit to add: even though it did not last, I cherish him and the experience. Go for it, have fun. It is so rare to find these types of connections... when you do, don't let them go even if the future is not certain. Live for the day as much as possible.

free skin care · Sat Dec 15, 2012 11:12 am

I'm another caucasian woman who always falls for the rich latin american guys... damn those dance skills and sexy spanish accents!

I'm pretty young, so my experience is very little, and mostly involves college experiences, so I can't comment too much on that.

As far as dating between cultures go, my parents have a similar marriage. My dad is of Ukrainian decent and speaks mostly english, my mother is pure-laine Quebecoise and only started to learn english after she met my father. They've made it work!

All that being said, Barefootgirl I think your issue is not really the cultural difference, that seems minor. Its more about how you see your own future. Regardless of culture, you don't seem like you want the kind of relationship that he wants. That could happen with anyone. So really, its about figuring out if this is someone you will be able to live with, and perhaps even move for, or if you see yourself living more independently.

free skin care · Tue Jan 15, 2013 9:44 pm

I married a columbian man when I was younger, remains my friend. His communication at the beginning of our relationship was much like you described. After three years of dating and two of marriage, it's as good if not better than mine and I'm a third generation American. Be encouraging, patient, and always encourage him to use you as an open forum for language practice. I did make the effort to learn Spanish but eventually we moved entirely to English as he perfected his speech.

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