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Fri Mar 31, 2006 1:35 am  |
Urgh, what started as a beautiful day has turned into a nightmare with my confidence in my job skills deminished to zero and a situation that will probably end up costing me $$$.
At this moment I am fighting the desire to run and curl up in bed and avoid dealing with the problem at all, but know I will have to ... I need to laugh... someone PLEASE tell somes jokes or stories that might bring a smile to my face. |
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Mabsy
Moderator
 
Joined: 17 Aug 2003
Posts: 9644
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Fri Mar 31, 2006 4:23 am |
Don't worry Tiger_tim - tomorrow will be a better day  I am keeping my fingers crossed for you that everything will work out well 
The following is perhaps not the best as it's work related but someone just sent it to me the other day. I love #2!
"If You Get Caught Sleeping at Your Desk
1. They told me at the blood bank this might happen.
2. This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.
3. Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper.
4. I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!
5. This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!
6. I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.
7. Actually I'm doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP). I learned it at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.
8. I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress.
9. Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.
10. The coffee machine is broken." |
_________________
45, NW20, combination skin |
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Fri Mar 31, 2006 5:25 am |
well it definately got me to I like this one:
| Quote: |
5. This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!
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In my office the men sit straight up at their desk, glasses on, report in front of them... and sleep.
Thank you! That and the hot bath I just took did help... TGIF... I can deal with the C**P on Monday. |
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Fri Mar 31, 2006 2:55 pm |
A very simple (but true quote):
"This too shall pass" Hope you feel better! |
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Fri Mar 31, 2006 4:40 pm |
I'm sorry you're feeling blue. But maybe this'll help:
The other night I was in karate class doing 50 jumping jacks. Normally that's not a problem. But this particular night I heard this strange clapping sound. I couldn't figure it out.
I got a second chance when, to my dismay, The instructor got ****ed off because we didn't count loud enough. So as I began counting for a second time, "One! Two," I remembered...I was wearing thong underwear. What I heard was the sound of my flabby behind.
It sounded like two Virginia Hams applauding me.
If karate has taught me anything, it's:
One- Never wear thong underwear to class.
Two- Granny panties and tighty whities are good for something.
Three- a jiggly butt doing jumping jacks is louder than five screaming martial artists.
You can't make this sort of stuff up. |
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Fri Mar 31, 2006 5:06 pm |
read the "men and their pee" thread. You'll definitely be laughing!  |
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Fri Mar 31, 2006 5:27 pm |
| TooInvolved: I don't know if tiger_tim is laughing but I can't stop myself from laughing LOUD!!! |
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53, DermaQuest, NCN Products, PMD, Dermarolling |
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Fri Mar 31, 2006 6:40 pm |
ROFLMFAO!!!! I'm in lock up tonight. I was so loud the guys ran over from their lock up to see if I was ok!!
T, that was the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. Tiger - sorry you're having a bad day. If that doesn't have you rolling nothing will. |
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Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~ Voltaire www.Candessence.com |
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Fri Mar 31, 2006 6:51 pm |
It is now Saturday morning here, so was feeling a bit brighter (blocked it all out) but OMG yes, you had me rolling.
Which reminds me of a similar embarassing situation that I have never told anyone about... 12 years back I had a busted ankle (a welcome to Japan present).. so anyway, these friends decide we should go to lunch - which was a long walk away - and feeling rather ho-hum about the effort of daily life on one foot, no crutches and no help, I decided to be decidant and go out sans bra, even though I was, well, not lacking up top so to say (  I would never do that with the saggy baggies now)..
So we get to a set of steps and I have to hop down on one foot.. and yes the more bounce I got the more the boobies started to bounce until there was this slapping sound. I could have died.. then the guy (in our group) who was walking in front of me turned around and said "oops" - he thought I had farted from the jumping!!!!! I was mortified but of course was not about to say that was my bouncy booby slapping away and I was like, I didn't fart, I didn't fart.. then he gave me a lecture on why not to be embarassed by somethng so natural. 
Hence the "clapping virginia hams" really got a stir out of me. Oh thank god I am not alone .... |
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Fri Mar 31, 2006 9:30 pm |
Tiger Tim..sorry you had a rough Friday  but glad that you feel better after waking. 
Slapping butt cheeks and and bouncy boobs....ROTFLMAO  TOO FUNNY!!!! |
_________________
Early 40's, normal/dry, Oily T zone (summer) fine lines, hyperpigmentation |
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Sun Apr 02, 2006 8:45 am |
the thong in exercise class reminded me of an experience i had at the rock climbing gym. mind you, i usually go sans underwear, but the baggy climbing shorts, people belaying you underneath -- well, i found out the hard way that i had to wear SOMEthing underneath. so i wore a thong. i am relatively assless and even more so back then (back when i was fretfully skinny) so slapping wasn't a problem. what was, is that i had a truly steep overhang to manuever and, because i am way too short, i had to get into a bizarre position on the ceiling. the guy who was belaying me was keeping the rope too taught as it was a really tricky move so my harness started pulling down. which pulled my shorts down. not alot. but enough. enough to get my thong caught in artificial rock over twenty feet in the air and i was stuck. absolutely could not squirm my way out of it and was absolutely mortified! the only person at the gym at that time that could get to me was a real famous rock climber -- and he couldn't get me unstuck! i wanted to die!!! he had to go back down, get a knife (something you only carry with you when you're actually out on the rock), come back up, give me a wedgie, and snip. the only way to save face was to give him the remnants of my fuscia thong to my 'hero.' he ended up being my teacher for a crack 'crack climbing' session the next week and i so wanted to die!!!
needless to say, i NEVER wore underpants of any sort whilst climbing after that.... |
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Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:35 pm |
Hilarious!  |
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Mon Apr 03, 2006 9:30 pm |
tiger_tim:
Is everything ok now? |
_________________
53, DermaQuest, NCN Products, PMD, Dermarolling |
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Mon Apr 03, 2006 10:50 pm |
Ah, the drama goes on... still feeling a bit down, but at least now I can deal with it without feeling quite so crushed. There will probably be a meeting later this week, but at the moment it is still in negotiation due to their being so secretive about the whole thing.
I think it is just the one person in the company trying to "bully" me, but at least I have already confirmed with some legal contacts that I have done nothing wrong legally and someone even offered me free counsel if it comes to that.
Thanks for your thoughts! |
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Tue Apr 04, 2006 2:30 am |
A Prayer For The Stressed
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change things I cannot accept,
And the wisdom to hide the bodies I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.
And help me to be careful of the toes I step on today,
As they may be connected to the feet I may have to kiss tomorrow.
Help me to always give 100% at work:
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
and 5% on Friday.
And help me to remember:...
When I am having a bad day and it seems that people are trying to wind me up,
it takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile,
and only 4 to extend my arm and smack that bastard in the mouth! |
_________________
Skin: Over 60, ex combination now sensitive, Cellcosmet |
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Tue Apr 04, 2006 3:31 am |
Thank you!! Hmm, wonder how some of those would go down here?
I have a sore back today, so using only 4 muscles would be a bonus.... |
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Sun Apr 09, 2006 12:34 pm |
| OMG LMAO...bushy thats hillarious and its actually one I've never seen. Hang in there tiger, as unfunny as this is I do find when bad stuff happens it normally turns out in our favor in the end, even if we can't see it yet, and if that fails re-read bushy's comment... |
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Mon Apr 10, 2006 6:34 pm |
Here's a great online game. It's a great stress reliever. Turn on your speakers.
http://www.davidandgoliathtees.com/
click on games
click on "boys are stupid, throw rocks at them"
Aim with your mouse and click.
Have fun! |
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Mon Apr 10, 2006 7:14 pm |
tiger_tim...
Just read this thread...laughing from your 'story' and what the others have written, but I do feel for you. I'm sorry to read that you're going through a tough time at work....and I hope that what goes around, comes back around to bite that bully in the a**. I have a low tolerance for people like that.
The rest of the week....wear your favorite clothes, outfits that make you feel good. Hold your head up, and "do the next right thing." If you messed up, you already know it, and you've taken responsibility for it. Everyone makes mistakes....don't beat yourself up. It's tough when you're in the middle of a situation like this but it is a blip in the scheme of things. Just another learning experience. Take care,
Deb |
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Closer to 60 than 50 with dry, fair skin. |
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Mon Apr 10, 2006 7:30 pm |
Okay. This is probably the cleanest joke I've ever told. I heard it yesterday at a dear and lovely couple's 50th wedding anniversary party. One of their long-time neighbors got hold of the microphone and he's obviously a frustrated would-be entertainer. He was on a roll and it was difficult for anyone else to wrest the mic away from him. He even sang -- badly -- but that was part of his charm:
One day a mother urges her dull, lazy son to get out of the house and look for a job. "Sonny, they're hiring down at the police station, why don't you apply?" So, he reluctantly goes for an interview, and is asked, "What two days of the week begin with the letter T?" He quickly responds, "Today and Tomorrow." Then he's asked, "Who shot Abe Lincoln?" He looks up at the ceiling, scratches his chin, wrinkles his nose, hems and haws, and finally the exasperated interviewer says, "Go home and think about it."
When he got home, his mother asked how the interview went. He said, "Really good -- they've already got me working a murder case."
Is it just me??? I laughed out loud. |
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Tue Apr 11, 2006 3:02 am |
That throw stones at boys was the most helpful yet!! I could truly put him in the place of the boy and took great delight with every success!!
My saga has not ended and I have a "meeting" on Friday.. this guy is a condescending, arrogant, aXXhole. It is killing me to keep my cool and not let him have it or retort to his impoliteness in the email correspondence thus far.
I am trying hard to put it out of my mind as I can feel my stress levels shoot through the roof every time I think of it, but at the same time I cannot forget about it yet as still need to send an email and get ready for Friday's meeting.
The whole thing just really has me in a fug and feeling very down. I will be glad when it is all over. BAH! |
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Tue Apr 11, 2006 9:20 pm |
Don't worry, tiger_tim! It'll all be over before you know it. In the mean time here's something that'll hopefully cheer you up (no offense to anyone!):
Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts one foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. Then, she yells, "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
I laughed so hard the first time I heard it. |
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41 combination skin. Chanel Mat Lumiere Extreme in Beige Ambre for colour ref. I don't wear foundation anymore (thanks to this board I have better and healthier skin than when I was younger). Skincare staples: Retin A, Cleansing oil to remove makeup, BHA cleanser for hormonal breakouts, aloe vera gel, sunscreen. |
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