Hair Color Question
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free skin care · Thu Feb 02, 2006 7:06 am

I have dark brown hair. I am starting to get some grey hair at the temples. I do not have but a few grey hairs at the top. I want to get it colored to match my natural color so I won't have roots. The guy that does my hair wants to lighten it to a reddish color. I am in my late 40's and he said as we age, dark hair isn't flattering. I went somewhere else to get a second opion, and was told they would not color it dark either. They said as we age, we don't want to look like we live in a trailer park! What is your opion of dark hair on ladies our age??

free skin care · Thu Feb 02, 2006 9:22 am

How dark is dark brown? I dont think you need to change your whole hair color. If you are fair skinned as myself, sometimes dark hair can make you look almost sick or tired all the time... If you dont want red say no sorry... I think some highlights to give your hair depth would be great. Or maybe lighten the brown and add a few highlights. something low maintanence.

I dont always buy into what hairstylists have to say. I hope i have helped a little. I think brown hair can be beautiful.

free skin care · Thu Feb 02, 2006 9:30 am

Hi Hattie,

I really do not understand how these people could say that to you! Where do you live? (not to be judgmental but I noticed that people here in the South just love blonde hair and can be pushy about it)(oh, I am in Houston, home of the big and blonde).

IMO, dark hair looks stylish and very polished on women. I think too many women start dying their hair blonde when they reach the middle of their lives and That to me looks like they are trying to look young. Dark hair does NOT look like trailer park hair.....no idea where that one came from! Bleached blonde with black roots, now that is trailer park hair!!

I do not know, maybe these people want to get as much $$ from you as possible and high lights will cost you a lot more (and require more upkeep) than keeping your natural brown.

Plus! What hairdressers do not do what you ask them!!!

Just my $.02

Good luck! And let me know what you decide to do!

free skin care · Thu Feb 02, 2006 10:26 am

I've heard that too. But it really depends on you, your skin coloring, the shade of hair you're going for, your cut/style and, frankly, a good ole dose of 'tude. Pretty much any rule can be broken, IMO. Look at model Dayle Haddon. Dark haired and still lovely.

However, to his pt., my grandma wore jet balck hair until the day she died. She could've gone lighter.

Maybe compromise with highlights or the reddish color around your face and leave the rest dark?

free skin care · Thu Feb 02, 2006 11:03 am

For what it’s worth:

My mom is in her late 60s. When she was younger her hair was dark brown, but she’s gradually been lightening it over the past decade or so to a dark ash blonde as the grey hair takes over more and more and as a result people don’t believe that she’s actually that old.

On the other hand, my mom’s best friend from high school colors her hair jet black and it makes her look so much older than she actually is. When my mom and her friend go out together, everyone assumes that Bettie Jo is the elder and cannot believe they are actually contempories.... The jet black hair just looks harsh and seems to accentuate the lines and wrinkles on your face.

My personal feeling on this is that when you’re hair starts to become more than 50% grey, that’s when you need to start gradually going lighter. Think of it as a sort of “soft focus” diffuser that sort of softens your look.

free skin care · Thu Feb 02, 2006 1:20 pm

I do have fair skin & brown eyes and my hair is pretty dark. I have natural red highlights. I guess that is why it is the color of choice at salons when I go. But, as mentioned, I do not have a lot of gray yet, and wanted to wait for a complete change. I have seen older women with hair to dark (almost black) and it did make them look hard. I just know once I start,is't never ending... and so harsh on your hair. Oh, I do live in the good ole south! Virginia to be exact. Thanks for your input.

free skin care · Thu Feb 02, 2006 2:48 pm

hattie wrote:

...I just know once I start,is't never ending... and so harsh on your hair.

You can always use a semi- or demi-permanent hair color that washes completely away after about 30 shampoos. These are the least damaging types because they don’t contain any peroxide. These types of dyes are more like temporary “tints” that add tone on tone – in other words they won’t lighten or darken your natural color. These dyes fade away gradually so you’re not left with any tell-tale roots.

Another option is using a color depositing shampoo or conditioner. These work on the same principal as the semi/demi permanent colors by brightening your existing color, although you can actually make your existing color appear more red or more brown or more blonde depending upon which shade of color depositing conditioner you use. I use these products religiously to help maintain my expensive salon color and on any given day I can make my highlights look more auburn or copper or golden blonde just by selecting a different color depositing conditioner.

Get your stylist to give you a sample of Biolage “Earth Tones” color depositing/enhancing conditioner in red or copper (assuming you want to accentuate your natural red tones, otherwise ask for the brunette version) so you play around with it. The color depositing also fade gradually, within 2-3 shampoos unless you reapply it, so there’s no commitment.

free skin care · Thu Feb 02, 2006 4:00 pm

I don't think someone in their late 40's needs to worry that having dark hair won't look right. Having blue or green hair won't look right, but having the gray colored to match the rest of your head...seems normal to me.

also...don't call it gray...the more politically correct term is "stress highlights" Laughing

free skin care · Fri Feb 03, 2006 5:31 am

There seems to be two issues here, IMO. Covering the gray versus a whole-hair color change to make you look "young."

It seems to be that a stylist should be able to work with your grays with a highlighting/lowlighting technique that doesn't affect your overall color.

As for looking "older" with dark hair, I don't necessarily agree. I posted about this a while back. For some biological reason, my hair went dark blonde (baby to late teens/early 20's) to light blonde (20's to early 30's) to dark blonde again (now), on its own. I was trying to hang on religiously to the light blonde phase with highlighting that, in my opinion, actually made me look older and more worn out. I agree with an earlier post that it really depends on the tone of your complexion. I would look for a stylist that works with you individually, not someone who just asserts that dark = old.

Good luck!

free skin care · Fri Feb 03, 2006 7:06 am

I have a friend in her 50s. She has gorgeous very dark brown, almost black, hair. It could sometimes make her look a little drawn, though.

She recently had a few highlights (not bright blonde, just a soft, warm dark blonde/light brown) put in around her face. It looks absolutely fabulous. Her complexion looks softer and it makes her look years younger.

I think you might suit something like that, perhaps?

(BTW I was unfortunate enough to take after my Dad and start going white when I was 17 years old. At 39, my hair's about three-quarters grey/white, so colouring's a necessity for me unless I want to look like someone's grandma.)

free skin care · Fri Feb 03, 2006 11:23 am

I've got you beat, majorb - my hair started going gray at 14!! A few years ago I went to the hair salon and the stylist was complimenting me on how young I looked (I hadn't been dying my hair then) and she asked how old I was. When I said "24" she just started stammering and changed the subject - LOL!

As for the original post, I say go with what YOU look best in. As a general rule lighter hair is easier on the face (maybe this is why we gray? Nature's way of softening our faces? Wink

) but of course rules can have exceptions. Personally I would probably go a shade or two lighter, but try to match my natural hair tone. I find this to be the most flattering and natural looking.

free skin care · Fri Feb 03, 2006 11:34 am

chimera wrote:

I've got you beat, majorb - my hair started going gray at 14!!

You beat me, too, but just barely: I started going grey at 15, around the time I discovered I was pregnant and had to drop out of school. Interestingly enough, my mom's hair went almost completely grey around this time, too. I can't imagine why, though.... Wink

free skin care · Fri Feb 03, 2006 12:30 pm

Funny thing with me too ....14 is when I met my creepy boyfriend who I stayed with for years....Funny how these things work, eh??

free skin care · Fri Feb 03, 2006 6:42 pm

I noticed my first grey hair at 23, one week after I gave birth to my daughter. I yanked it out, hoping 10 more wouldn't show up for it's funeral Laughing

They did, eventually

Fri Feb 03, 2006 6:49 pm

You already have got some excellent advice. I just wanted to add a tip. I'm a hairstylist myself, and this is all I do to get rid of my greys. I mix up the color and apply it with a mascara wand only to the grey. I do this for my clients that have 20 to 30% grey as well. I think virgin hair is shinier and healthier looking, so I try to keep it that way as long as possible.

free skin care · Sat Feb 04, 2006 11:33 am

So it's not just me! Phew!

Funnily enough, going grey at 17 for both myself and my Dad coincided with some pretty traumatic events. Maybe it is true then about that kind of stuff turning you old before your time! Shock

free skin care · Mon Feb 06, 2006 12:44 pm

Thanks everyone. I did let him do the reddish brown thing. I do think I look less "pasty" as I have been called before. Now, I wonder about the root thing, as I knew I would. Maybe next go around I will just do some highlights.

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