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Tue Oct 03, 2006 2:48 pm  |
Hi I was just wondering what everyone thought of Body Dysmorphic Disorder? It is something that has been getting a lot of press in the UK over the past couple of months and as I'm sure a few here would admit to like myself having a slight obsession with their skin I wonder if any of you feel that you are over emphisising tiny flaws no one else notices or even seeing flaws that are not there at all.
I do get quite down about my skin but of course I feel all my flaws are very real even when people tell me otherwise, do any of you have similer experiances? |
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Tue Oct 03, 2006 4:45 pm |
Hi Willowsnow, are you referring to the recent documentary on BBC3 on the subject? I actually know the guy who was featured on the programme, i've been diagnosed with BDD myself when I was 17.
It's quite striking sometimes to read some of the posts on various skincare boards, since many people do seem so utterly consumed by their skin and go to extraordinary lengths to improve it. So much so, that it surprises me.
BDD is like any other disorder, it's an amplification of any 'normal' human behaviour. Only when it becomes disabling to you, and impacts your life negatively, then it would be classified as a disorder.
What I've been told is that Body Dysmorphic Disorder isn't about whether or not the flaw you see is real or not, it's more to do with how your perceived flaw affects your life, and how much is disables you. If that makes sense ! |
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Tue Oct 03, 2006 5:18 pm |
Hi sel,
Yes that is the show I meant although it seems to be a hot topic at the moment - did you see that show Knifemares on channel 5 last night?
The BBC show was quite good you couldn't really see what the 1st girl looked like but the other girl was so pretty and the guy, the one you know is actually really cute! I am sure tons of girls fancy him.
I wouldn't say I have BDD but how I feel about the way I look does affect my life, I think my way of dealing with feeling ugly is to not try. I don't really feel that it is worth bothering with dressing nicely or fixing my hair etc when I am looking so bad. I feel worried that people will think that I think I am good looking when I know I am not, a sort of mutton dressed as lamb senario. I don't know how many times I have gotton all fixed up to go out only to wash all my make up off and just put jeans on because I feel like a man in drag.
I often can't really relax or enjoy myself when I am out because I am so self consious about my appearance. I feel much more at home being frumpy!
I am trying at the moment to fix what I can and accept the rest, I used to want a nose job so much but now I am learning to appreaciate it as it give me a slightly exotic look which would be lost if I had surgery.
I just want to get to a point where I can feel happy with myself warts and all and confident enough to make the best of myself. I am sorry if this is too much sharing but I think it is an interesting topic for a forum centering on appearances! |
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Wed Oct 04, 2006 12:14 am |
| I do think (at least I am) we are our own worst critic. I see lines and wrinkles on my face that no one else sees unless I point them out and they look closely. We'll always be striving for better skin and bodies. At 24 I thought i looked older than my age and did chemical peels on a regular basis, now that I'm 34...I look back at pics of me at 24 and wished I looked that young again...I looked like I was 16 when I was 24.....when I'm 44-I'm sure I'll want to look like I do now. |
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Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:55 am |
I'm unbelievably critical of everything from my face, to certain features to the body of course. It never stops with me. I'm always obsessed with my body weight and image. It was worse when I was younger but it's still an everyday obsession for me.
I did go through a time of being bulimic when I was younger, but now I've overcome that. Not something I'm very proud of, but the pressures of trying to be thin and being on varsity cheerleader and other varsity sports I felt as though I HAD to be a certain way. Now I know it was all in MY head. |
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26, combination skin with oily t-zone |
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Wed Oct 04, 2006 9:25 pm |
WillowSnow, I understand what you mean when you say you don't like dressing up when you're having a particulary bad appearance day. I have the same thoughts myself, and would much prefer to be dressed down and not to make an effort to not draw attention!
I had a rhinoplasty a couple of years ago. I'm pleased I had it done, but I wouldn't say that it's made a dramatic improvement, well not for the amount of money it cost anyhow
Everyone here is right though, when they say that we are our own worst critics. I'm sure half the things we worry about, other people barely notice, and pay no attention to whatsoever! |
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Thu Oct 05, 2006 7:21 am |
I remember learning about BDD in my Psychology lectures & I was convinced that I had it myself based on the symptoms! I agree with what everyone here has said in that we generally are our own worst critic. But I guess the media & society are to blame for a lot of this behaviour too...as they make things worse by telling us all we have to look a certain way in order to be either sexy, attractive or even successful  |
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Thu Oct 05, 2006 9:23 pm |
i realized i have this today as i was looking for clothes to wear to work.. theyre almost all size 0/25. cant even fit into most of them now  the pressure to be thin and pretty is intense.. i know mine started since i was really young when people always make fun of my apperance.. mostly boys though but go figure.. the last 20 years of my life i constantly have people criticizing my body.. so i guess i felt like i HAD to be a size 0 to be accepted. but even when im thin and pretty people still find more things to criticize so whatever. i need some bigger clothes. LOL
i really dont know how to answer.. or if i really have bdd.. because i really think i am fine the way i am and always thought so.. its just people always have something negative to say.. about my face, makeup, weight, body shape.. everything. so i just try to be up to par so i wont have people putting me down or pointing out my flaws and condemning me for them. its really hard that when almost every time you go out someone has something criticising/negative to say about your appearance. excuse me for my rant LOL. so much pressure to be accepted |
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Fri Oct 06, 2006 11:37 am |
| It's okay smqueen! You can't make everyone happy or like you. Be yourself...that's all you can be. Not that I'm a motivational speaker or anything....I can't stand myself.........lol! I'm a work in progress.....slow....progress. Be happy with what you have because people all around the world, would kill (or something similar) to be you ( My mom used to tell me that). |
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Tue Oct 17, 2006 9:39 pm |
I definitely have a problem with this! I had an eating disorder when I was in high school too, Ariesextreme. - Always thinking I'm fat when I can't possibly be.
I really hate my legs because they're short, and I think they're big. I hate my nose, and It's amazing how many flaws I can find on my face to show people when they compliment me on my skin.
I think we could all go on like this forever...
I hope this is not becoming an unhealthy obsession...  |
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Wed Oct 18, 2006 2:06 pm |
Tosca,
Hopefully it's something that can be contained, for me it couldn't and I was pushed over the edge until I realized it wasn't right. It's definitely a mental thing, there isn't a second that goes by where I don't think about my body image.
You know when girls go..." I'm fat ". Yes some do say this because they want the positive feedback of " no you're not". I on the other hand actually do think I'm fat. I'm not that severe because I haven't fallen again...at least not yet and don't intend on doing it again. But it's a struggle. |
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26, combination skin with oily t-zone |
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Wed Oct 18, 2006 3:35 pm |
| I think it's always been an unhealthy obsession. We're always surrounded by ads and campaigns on how we can look better and if we're prettier...we're happier. I went through a time (a very difficult one) where I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. Then I sank into a deep depression and went to therapy 3x a week. I may have given a little too much info, so sorry to rant. |
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Wed Oct 18, 2006 7:12 pm |
thank u bex!
how do you guys contain/tame it? i still have trouble looking myself in the eye in a mirror O.o unless its to fix or improve something on myself that is |
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Wed Oct 18, 2006 8:53 pm |
I struggle with it even now. I've been able to keep myself under control by keeping a regular work-out regime,which makes me concentrate more on how I feel than my weight. i also threw out my scales.
I slippd again a few years ago, and I had a really hard time getting out of it then. I made it, though! It's a very difficult thing to control, smqueen. Know that you're not alone, and we can offer moral support. |
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Wed Oct 18, 2006 9:20 pm |
| It's still very difficult for me to look at myself. It's just not my main problem now I guess. When I was younger, I would have a pic in my head of what i wanted to llok like and thought if I just looked that way I'd be happy...so I'd do what I could to "get that look" and I'd be happy for awhile, but then I'd want another look. I thiink it's an endless cycle. I'm 34 and got married last December and went through a huge life change...getting married and moving to a different state. All so overwhelming...just to find out a month after we got married, that I have endometriosis, cysts and fibroids.....I've had 2 surgeries this year and have been on lupron (a hormone that puts your body through menopause to suppress inflammation)...I receive my last Lupron injection tomorrow! Then after my cycle gets regulated....I have to start fertility meds if I'm ever to have a chance having a baby. I look and feel like hell. My skin and body going through all the hormone changes....I feel like is really showing. Okay...sorry to have rant so much!! We'll always have our self doubts, but don't let them consume you...hard for me to say....I often get consumed. Worse things can happen and are happening. I try to be grateful for what I have. Okay..done ranting! |
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Thu Oct 19, 2006 7:19 am |
Tosca,
The scale thing reall bums me out. I should know better than to weigh myself at least twice a day since the body just fluctuates constantly. I should rather see how my clothes fits, but when I step on that scale I can't help but think of the days where I went crazy over every little pound.
It's still a struggle, I've tried to keep it under control the best I know how. |
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26, combination skin with oily t-zone |
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Thu Oct 19, 2006 11:37 am |
| That's why I threw mine out. It was crazy! I just use my clothes now. |
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Thu Oct 19, 2006 11:44 am |
I had an eating disorder for 11 years (til I was 22) and ended up in the hospital.
I never weigh myself anymore...and if I go to the doctor I turn around (facing away from the scale), they usually know why I do that.
My therapist said I'll have these tendencies my whole life, and some days are better than others. You learn what your triggers are and you stay away from them (like scales and such).
I have a link to a fantastic forum on EDs (eating disorders) and DE (disordered eating) that helped me alot. PM me if anyone wants to know about it.
It's sad that we hold ourselves to an unachievable standard of beauty. Personally I would love to be the weight I was at the height of my ED, but I know that in reality, eating and exercizing in a healthy manner, my body cannot achieve it in a natural way. I cannot be 5'6" and be 105 pounds without ending up in the ER, having my period stop, and losing hair. |
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32, Fair Skin, combo/break-out prone. Simple routine of REN No. 1 Purity Cleansing Balm and Argan oil as a moisturizer; Clarisonic when needed. That's it! |
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Thu Oct 19, 2006 1:41 pm |
Very well said ParisTroika! My legs never looked better than they did at my ultimate skinny weight. The rest of me looked like hell, though!!
I know a young woman who is struggling with it right now. She's 5'11" and wears a 0. She looks so very awful. Her bones stick out everywhere, her eyes are sunken in and she looks pale and sick. I've seen pictures of her before, and she is very beautiful at a regular weight. She is not even mildly attractive now! It's really sad. |
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Thu Oct 19, 2006 2:14 pm |
| Everytime I go to the gym I see this one girl on the treadmill. She's probably 5'1-5'2 and weighs 85 lbs if she's lucky. I have this urge to go up to her, shake her and ask what she's doing to herself. Her legs and arms are so thin it's disgusting. They literally resemble the limbs off of a starving Somolian child. |
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26, combination skin with oily t-zone |
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Thu Oct 19, 2006 2:23 pm |
| Yet you know that she pinches her skin and thinks,"Oh gross! I'm fat!" Poor thing. |
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Thu Oct 19, 2006 2:29 pm |
| Most likely and that's whats driving her to keep going to the gym and running til she probably passes out. |
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26, combination skin with oily t-zone |
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Thu Oct 19, 2006 2:56 pm |
| Probably so. She's probably punishing herself for eating an apple or something like that. |
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Thu Oct 19, 2006 3:01 pm |
| Tosca wrote: |
| Probably so. She's probably punishing herself for eating an apple or something like that. |
Eeeek..that line just hit close to home  |
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26, combination skin with oily t-zone |
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Thu Oct 19, 2006 6:09 pm |
| Yeah, I know. I've done it before too. |
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