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Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:32 pm  |
OMG I don't BELIEVE this !!!! HOW do these people get named to the federal bench (  ack - it's a hypothetical question; I KNOW how they get there ).
This guy has been driving me CRAZY since we've come back from the New Year holiday. He's always late, so we sit there waiting for him for 45 minutes every morning. He arrives, we make arguments for like 30 minutes, and he invariably scrunches up his ugly mug and says he "has to think on it" . (Speaking English is obviously NOT a requirement). Then we recess. I can't do anything else while he's "thinking," cause nobody ever knows when he'll be done "thinking." I've polished my toenails about 15 times in the last week. (Holding up my foot and wiggling my now incredibly pretty toes  ).
But that is NOT why I'm ranting!
This morning, during our precious 30 minutes of actual arguments, I was making an argument on what really was a highly complex issue. I could see him squinging up his face. That was fine - I'm used to it. But, then, OMFG !!!!! I see him sort of shifting his weight to his left butt cheek and lifting his leg. The squinging wasn't because of the complexity of the arguments. HE HAD GAS! When he lowered his leg and balanced his weight equally again, his grimace was transformed to a look of sweet relief. (SCREAMINGGGGGGGGGG !!!!!)
As I witnessed this, I stopped midsentence. I was TOTALLY astonished. And, yeah, I was pretty pissed. I walked back to the table and threw my papers down. I'm sure I rolled my eyes (laughing...). He had the NERVE to reprimand me and tell me to show some respect for the court or he'd fine me. SHOW SOME RESPECT FOR THE COURT !!!!
OMG I am NOT the one who farted in open court. (SCREAMINGGGGGGG one more time....)
OK - I'm done. |
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Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:44 pm |
 !!! Man, where are the Court TV guys when you really need them? |
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Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:12 pm |
You should anonymously put a bottle of Gas-x or Beeno on his desk....  |
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27~Texas~Oily~ fair~ breakout prone~ easily congested~Cysts caused by emotional stress~ Using Ayurvedic skin care and philosophy~ Dry brushing body and face~ On strict less is more routine~ We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars~ Oscar Wilde |
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Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:12 pm |
 Thanks for the laugh.
| Quote: |
| I see him sort of shifting his weight to his left butt cheek and lifting his leg. The squinging wasn't because of the complexity of the arguments. HE HAD GAS! |
If only you had a match. |
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Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:14 pm |
| Katee, I work at a law office in L.A. and am continually surprised by professionals etiquette. I can't believe you were reprimanded when he was RUDE! |
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40, fair skinned, dark hair, blue eyes |
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Tue Jan 09, 2007 3:23 pm |
| vonstella wrote: |
| You should anonymously put a bottle of Gas-x or Beeno on his desk.... |
LOL! I love Vonstella's idea!! It's gross enough that he just blatantly let one rip...but hello? In a court of law??? **takes a match from Winnie and lights it** 
Mary |
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43, Confirmed desert rat (Scottsdale, AZ), animal lover (3 kitties and a pup) and hopeless product junkie (I blame EDS...lol!) |
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Tue Jan 09, 2007 5:12 pm |
OMG ... that's hysterical!
At my first medical device company we had a Medical Director from Stanford University. A very well-known professor.
1. He'd take a bite out of someone's lunch and PUT IT BACK.
2. He'd fart anywhere and everywhere - in a conference room (god forbid he get up from his chair becuase you knew what was coming out) or walking down the hall, etc. |
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mid 40's, Hawaiian/Japanese, combo skin, med/dark complexion. "If life hands you lemons, throw them at your enemies" |
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Tue Jan 09, 2007 6:09 pm |
OMG, Katee, that's a whole lotta wrong right there.
What an idiot.
I know it ticked you off (rightfully so) but you did make me laugh with your retelling.
Sounds like something that would happen on Boston Legal (I love that show!).
Maria |
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Maria, early 50's, post meno, normal to dry skin, more dry in winter, some sun damage... |
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Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:20 pm |
Laughing.....
Ah I've calmed down considerably, but I was STOKED when I started the thread.
It was bad enough that he farted, but when he threatened to fine me, I saw red !!!
I was still worked up when I got home but my bf just couldn't stop laughing. That, and several glasses of a good merlot, calmed me down considerably.
I don't know why I was so shocked. A judge in Tennessee got caught masturbating into his trash can during court!!! But, HE was just a district judge - no class. Pffft. |
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Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:38 pm |
Katee you crack me up That account was just priceless - what an ass (pun intended).
Made me think tho, why do men lift one butt cheek to fart, it's really not necessary |
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Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:58 pm |
| LOL That's just too funny. Wish I could have seen it for myself. |
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Global Butterfly & Certified Aromatherapist/Holisitc Therapist with a passion for travel and natural health. |
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Tue Jan 09, 2007 8:03 pm |
| anya wrote: |
| Made me think tho, why do men lift one butt cheek to fart, it's really not necessary |
It gives it that silent but deadly aspect.... |
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27~Texas~Oily~ fair~ breakout prone~ easily congested~Cysts caused by emotional stress~ Using Ayurvedic skin care and philosophy~ Dry brushing body and face~ On strict less is more routine~ We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars~ Oscar Wilde |
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Tue Jan 09, 2007 8:46 pm |
What's next, for Pete's sake? I mean, it's nice to be comfortable in one's job and everything, but his gassy behaviour shows a huge lack of respect for everyone in that room!
Would he enjoy it if, let's say, a waitress --standing by the table and taking his order -- just played the tuba right next to him? His doctor farting up a gale force wind in the examining room?
Do what you want in your own home: peel the paint off the walls with ass gas if that's what you enjoy. When people cross boundaries between acceptable personal behaviour and acceptable professional behaviour without a second thought, I begin to hear the soft rattle of a loose screw.
Just my opinion. |
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Tue Jan 09, 2007 9:29 pm |
| katee wrote: |
I don't know why I was so shocked. A judge in Tennessee got caught masturbating into his trash can during court!!! But, HE was just a district judge - no class. Pffft. |
OMG!!!!  |
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mid 40's, Hawaiian/Japanese, combo skin, med/dark complexion. "If life hands you lemons, throw them at your enemies" |
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Wed Jan 10, 2007 6:29 am |
I'm crying with laughter at this.
...but consider, it was silent so maybe it wasn't a fart but piles and he just needed to reposition them to a more comfortable position. Could explain the face as well. one of my fave Martin Amis descriptions was of someone's 'haemeroidal expression' |
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my new jewellery website:www.gentle-medusa.com |
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Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:06 am |
| katee wrote: |
Laughing.....
A judge in Tennessee got caught masturbating into his trash can during court!!! : |
I wonder why I suddenly thought of Sammy Davis's shtick 'Here Come the Judge' on Laugh-In?  |
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Wed Jan 10, 2007 8:22 pm |
Now you know why he's taking so much time thinking. The poor guy must be constipated.  |
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Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:47 pm |
| marina wrote: |
| katee wrote: |
Laughing.....
A judge in Tennessee got caught masturbating into his trash can during court!!! : |
I wonder why I suddenly thought of Sammy Davis's shtick 'Here Come the Judge' on Laugh-In? |
OMGosh.. Now that was funny... 
Katee, this got me laughing too... Altho, I'm sure, had I been in your place, I would have been just as upset... |
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Colorful Colorado! Highlands Ranch, a burb south of Denver... |
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