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Tue Oct 09, 2007 7:41 pm  |
Thought i'd search some advice from some fellow-EDSers on this topic ... what do you do when you say something (either to a co-worker, friend, or spouse) that can appear disrespectful/tactless that (of course) you wish you hadn't?
Do you apologize - and if so, just to the person you potentially offended, or to everyone that you were having the conversation with (if more people were there)?
And how can you try so that you don't say something tactless again in the future? (and this is coming from someone who is probably considered a little more "outspoken" than some so I'm hoping for something I can work on!) |
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Tue Oct 09, 2007 8:34 pm |
| It totally depends on the situation. I would ignore it if making a big deal about it might cause more embarrassment for the other party. If it is one-on-one I would definitely apologize. If it was a party-type gathering and I made a remark that most would find offensive, I would laugh it off and say that it came out all wrong. |
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Wed Oct 10, 2007 8:47 am |
Eek! I'm always doing this. I just can't seem to help it.
Usually, though, I'm so obviously genuinely horrified afterwards that people tend to forgive me. Thankfully, most people tend to think of me as a nice person, so when I accidentally say something I shouldn't have, they know I don't mean to be hurtful.
So I guess my advice is to give a heartfelt apology if this happens again, and try to think before speaking. (I'm desperately trying to get used to doing that last thing.) |
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Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:21 am |
| If I noticed that I said something that hurt someone in anyway, I would immediately and sincerely apologize. If I didn't notice it, but the other person told me that what I said upset him/her, I'd apologize right away. To me, a sincere apology is very important. No one is perfect, and we often do/say things that affect others negatively without realizing it. I don't take the position that I'm always right. If what I said caused pain in others, then the other person is always right, and I will apologize. |
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Mabsy
Moderator
 
Joined: 17 Aug 2003
Posts: 9644
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Wed Oct 10, 2007 2:37 pm |
| I think it depends on how bad it was. If I thought I hurt or insulted someone then I would apologise to that person. But, if I say something and later think that it perhaps might have been taken a different way, then I tend to leave it until someone else mentions it and I get confirmation that they did take it the wrong way. |
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45, NW20, combination skin |
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Mon Oct 15, 2007 5:39 pm |
| I would for sure apologize, but if you always talk to people the way you would want to be treated, I bet you'll never have to apologize again. |
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Fri Oct 19, 2007 12:23 am |
To clear the air, I think you have to apologize once for saying it. If the group is still convened, say it to the whole group. Otherwise to the person who was offended. Then forget it. The less attention you pay to the the flub, the better.
You don't have to apologize for thinking it. :badgrin:
Same goes if you do something clumsy, like spill something or knock something off a table. Apologize, ask how to make it right, and then do what the person says. If the person says to forget it, that's what you do. |
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Fri Oct 26, 2007 6:59 am |
I agree. Make the apology.
Would love some follow up from you Alice on how everything turned out?  |
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