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Tue Dec 22, 2009 6:16 pm  |
Hoping someone can give me some ideas (or maybe have dealt with a similar situation)...
my dad has diabetes. Hes only 60 and he will not go to the doctor. He thinks he can take care of it through diet only. (my mom has seen that he is checking his blood though).
I dont know much about this disease - but i do know it can be very serious and a doctor's supervision is needed.
Ive sent my dad emails about what his possible death would do to us. i thought that would do something - my mom constantly tells him of the dangers involved and he just gets mad. Even my brother who lives in Australia came home to the states and discussed the issue.
He just wants to be left alone... but I cant take knowing he could really get sick over just being stubborn.
thanks for any help... |
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Tue Dec 22, 2009 8:54 pm |
Alright, this is sneaky in a way but it was all I could think of at the time. This will not help you and your father, but tell your mom (if you and she are comfortable talking about personal things), as she may be experiencing something similar.
About 20 years ago, my husband -- who was then about 45 -- started to lose weight, urinate more often than usual and was extremely thirsty all the same. These symptoms came on fairly suddenly after a bad bout of influenza, and we both probably thought it was just a result of the flu and things would level out.
At it happens, they didn't level out. He was soon down to about 150 lbs., drinking gallons of water and having abdominal cramps. I suspected he had diabetes and told him so, urging him to get it checked out. No, that was obviously a ridiculous suggestion and he wasn't having any of it.
One particularly annoying symptom, however, was recurring yeast infections (him) & irritation on the head of his p*nis. He must have given me a dozen yeast infections over a six-month period. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and told him that if he didn't go to the doctor, there would be no more monkey business in the boudoir. That finally did it and off he went in a cloud of dust to get tested.
It was a hollow victory when he came back after getting his test results to learn that he actually did have Type 1 diabetes but at least it got him some treatment.
Tough love! |
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Tue Dec 22, 2009 9:04 pm |
pinky1,
I agree and men can be stubborn about going to the doctor, amongst other things!
Just a second sneaky option have Mom make a doctors appointment supposedly for herself, then ask for Dad to take her, once there let him know it is his appointment when his name is called, he may be too embarrassed to make a fuss in a crowded waiting room full of strangers!
Good Luck!
DM |
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I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
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Wed Dec 23, 2009 4:05 am |
mb935,
Similar to pinky's husband, my sister started exhibiting signs of diabetes around the age of 40. She was eating everything in sight and not gaining an ounce and drinking buckets of water. We urged her to go to the doctor and she wouldn't. She got sick and one day when I came home (we were living together at the time), I found her in a coma and had to call 911. She came very close to dying and it took her a long, long time to recover. She was skin and bones when she finally left the hospital and had some major nerve damage. She has type 1 diabetes. I don't know how you can get someone to the doctor who doesn't want to go except to try to educate them about the dangers of untreated diabetes. It really does affect everything else in the body - kidneys, heart, eyes, nerves, etc. Maybe you could buy a book or get some literature to give to him for Christmas. It would definitely be a gift of love. Good luck!! |
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Wed Dec 23, 2009 8:18 am |
I can relate Skippie,
My mom had type 1 as well dad gave her the insulin shots, but she wouldn't eat right or exercise, just didn't take care properly and we had a number of scares! It really took a toll
and unfortunately she passed at only 69 years old! I know she would have been around longer if she had been more willing to do what was recommended! We tried but just couldn't make her do it!
DM |
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I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
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Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:22 am |
| I'm sorry to hear that, DM. I learned an important lesson from my sister's experience - you should take care of yourself even if you don't want to because if you don't, those who you love will suffer. |
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Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:28 am |
Thanks Skippie,
I agree about taking care of ourselves, it's those we love when pigheaded about doing so we want desperately to help, but I guess it's the old adage you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink! It is frustrating to watch them do themselves harm through neglect!
DM |
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I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
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Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:33 pm |
The first suggestion wont work  ... but thanks!!!
So sorry to hear that DM. I was afraid someone would have a similar situation which ended badly. Sorry to bring it up...
Im so glad you were there for your sister Skippie.
Good idea too about the book.
My dad is also VERY thin - he was a big guy my whole life and in the last year.... its just shocking!
But I guess unfortunately since it seems common to not care about one's health- that he'll have to get really sick first... |
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Sat Dec 26, 2009 1:48 am |
mb935, how long has this been going on? You don't give an indication, and it seems to me that a regular checkup will allow for some light to be shed, so if this has been going on for more than a year, then I can only assume he won't even schedule a regular checkup.
Maybe Pinky's on to something there. Is there anything you can scare him with concerning your own welfare? I have a stubborn diabetic mom who's grossly overweight, and eats sugared items and won't excercise. She trusts her doctor to give her the right advice, and when asked about excercise, he said, "Sure, you can walk, that'd be good". WHAT?? Has this man even seen Mom walk? She shuffles...every step is a negotiation, and she could fall. No, a walk for Mom would have to include a companion. I've tried to get her interested in doing some resistance training with rubber bands, and she poo-poos the idea. Then I though of this:
I'm a smoker. I'm very close to quitting, but maybe I can imply to her that it's easier to just keep smoking, that if I try I might fail, so why try, etc, you get the idea. Then I strike a deal...I quit smoking, you start some resistance training, no lame excuses as to why you can't.
I'd like to hear your Dad's reason why, when a simple doctor's visit would ease his family's mind, he refuses to do it and end what he's doing to you, your brother, your mom.
Could be that he's afraid to find out worse news than expected, maybe?
Just a thought  |
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Sat Dec 26, 2009 8:41 am |
To be honest - i dont konw how long he has had it... less that 5 years and hte weight loss in the last year and a half.
He wont say why he wont go. i dont know if hes afraid of needles.... Im assuming all diabetics HAVE to have insulin shots.... ???
He is now lying and saying hes seeing a doctor.. but I know hes lying cause he wont prove it.
He does have to see a dr for his high blood pressure every 6 months. I HOPE this dr either knows about the diabetes or finds out and DOES SOMETHING!!! But I guess even if the dr does - its still my dad's responsibility to do what he needs to do....
thanks... |
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Sat Dec 26, 2009 3:10 pm |
| mb935 wrote: |
To be honest - i dont konw how long he has had it... less that 5 years and hte weight loss in the last year and a half.
He wont say why he wont go. i dont know if hes afraid of needles.... Im assuming all diabetics HAVE to have insulin shots.... ???
He is now lying and saying hes seeing a doctor.. but I know hes lying cause he wont prove it.
He does have to see a dr for his high blood pressure every 6 months. I HOPE this dr either knows about the diabetes or finds out and DOES SOMETHING!!! But I guess even if the dr does - its still my dad's responsibility to do what he needs to do....
thanks... |
One of the saddest things in the world, is when we have to stand by and *watch* when someone is hell bent on destroying themselves.. I watched my two dear brothers-in-law (28 + 51) who died as a direct result of thinking they could *beat* Type 1 Diabetes on their own... Sad to say they are both dead now, one as the result of a diabetic coma and the elder of even sadder circumstances when he pretty much killed himself (by total insulin neglect) after loosing both of his feet.
I'm sorry I have no words of wisdom to offer you, as there truly are none, when they fall on deaf ears. All you can do is to introduce him to the literature available everywhere, and hopefully he will *get the message*, before it's too late.
The main thing you need to know/hear is that none of this is your fault for lack of trying to help him.. The fact of the matter is this, type 1 Diabetes, when diagnosed and treated in the early stages, is a very manageable disease... Yes, it's a swift PITA what with daily glucose testing, adherence to diet, and injections and/or other meds, but it's do-able, when the persons desire to live and enjoy life, is stronger than their desire to toss in the towel.. (My brothers-in-law, were the "look what happened to poor me" type, and for them the disease won! I hope and pray that your situation will have a happier outcome..) |
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♥I'm flattered by all the lovely PM's, but I don't get here much these days. Please don't be afraid to post your quearies to other DIY members who will be glad to help you (or sell you their wares..lol) Still happy with LED, dermarolling and a DIY antioxidant regime. Peace & Hugs to all.♥ |
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Sun Dec 27, 2009 9:39 am |
| My brother who was only 31 at the time lost 40lbs. 6' 175lbs to 134lbs. He kept going to the dr who couldn't find anything wrong. Treating him w/ antibiotics. He had severe stomach cramps, burping bile, finally I went w/ him to ask questions, lots of them. They did blood work, why now and not before who knows. The dr called the next morning for him to come in immed., his blood sugar was almost 600. They were afraid he'd have a stroke! He started on oral meds which helped immensely but now is on insulin injections 1/day but the gaunt emaciated look is gone & he feels better. He is an electrician who works in the field everyday and is managing his health fairly easily. He has 3 young children & wife who need him just like you and your family need your dad. Maybe if you read the heartfelt comments from the members of this forum it will strike a chord in his heart. I'm sure the unknown is scary but I've never heard of anyone being told they couldn't be treated for diabetes. I'm also thinking that for many of us responding to this we've found ourselves w/ people we care about who continue ignoring their health inspite of our good intent. I would definitely take advantage of the 6 mo checkup by putting a bug in the ear of the dr! I wish you the best. Keep us posted. |
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Fri Jan 01, 2010 11:47 am |
My mom said shes going to threaten to leave if he doesnt see a dr....
Just hope that doesnt cause a whole other issue!!!
:0 |
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Fri Jan 01, 2010 11:54 am |
| mb935 wrote: |
My mom said shes going to threaten to leave if he doesnt see a dr....
Just hope that doesnt cause a whole other issue!!!
:0 |
Sometimes it takes tough love, even with adults!
I hope he does go! Keeping fingers crossed for all of your family!
DM |
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I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
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Mon Jan 04, 2010 9:17 am |
mb935,
If your dad has type 1 diabetes he won't be able to handle it with diet alone..perhaps he believes that at his age he can't develope type 1 diabetes and believes and therefore believes he must have type 2 (type 1 diabetes used to be called child onset diabetes...but adults also can develope type 1 at a late stage in life...my husband did, as did the relatives of others who have posted here) perhaps that information would be important to your dad's decision as to whether he needed medical intervention. |
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71 years, primarily raw living food 35 years(vegan 45 years) herbal tea decoctions, homeopathy, TCM, facial massage, facial exercises, vacu-lifting, gua aha, shiatsu/acupressure, intention, home microcurrrent |
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