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Sun Mar 27, 2011 8:29 am |
mb...don't kick yourself too hard for being a caring person. You did not know that this is how things were going to turn out. You are now semi-isolated and scared. That is not healthy and you are obviously not in a safe situation. I do not know your financial state but, I would hire a personal body guard or undercover cop to "move in" as my new boyfriend. It probably will only take a day or two to get this leach out of there. A restraining order is not going to keep him from doing anything if that is truely his intention. Having someone else bigger and of sound mind there with you will help. I would also go to the police department and talk to them TODAY. Get their advice and recommendations. They tend to have a distaste for volatile men that instill fear and take advantage of women. This is YOUR home and you do not want him there...period!!! |
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Sun Mar 27, 2011 1:25 pm |
mb935, listen to them. The faster you can get over your embarassment and just handle the problem, the better. You'll feel proud of yourself for taking control. Start by feeling proud of yourself right now for posting here.
Tell as many people as you can. This isn't the type of thing anyone can be expected to handle on their own. You need support so you can feel safe - that's what's most important, not how difficult/awkward/uncomfortable sharing your story might be. You may not feel like its a crisis because you've become used to the situation, but if he's in your home and you're afraid, it is one.
It would be for me. No one who makes you feel tense should be in your own home.
There's no shame in feeling embarassed about bad choices - we've all made them in varying circumstances. It may not feel like it but a lot of people will understand. You ARE taking control of the situation now (& there's no going back), so don't hesitate to write back here if you're still having trouble figuring out how to handle things as they come. You've been allowing yourself to be manipulated and you won't be able to end this cycle overnight (because, not to be rude, but you may not be aware just how wrong or serious this is right now and if you don't know how can you know how to handle it?), so the right thing to do now is get help. |
_________________ Olive, normal/oily skin. Using rinse-off ocm, Vit C, Tretinoin since Nov/10, GHK since Feb/12, Niacinamide & glucosamine, alternating, & now skipping nights! Concerns include oiliness, hyperpigmentation from occasional zits, 11's & nasolabial folds. |
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Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:07 pm |
He just needs to move out... not ifs or buts.
Really change tell him he has to be out, no explanations. Call the cops and make them aware of the situation.
Also it would help to speak to women's association that deal with women in abusive situations.
Be with someone when you tell him he has to move out and ask a friend/family member to stay in your apartment until he moves out.
There's no solution to this, it will only escalate. |
_________________ 37, light brown hair, green eyes, very fair skin. Oily T zone, broken capillaries... Current regime: Tretinoin 0.05% every night, hydroquinone 4% twice per day, lachydran every other day, random moisturizers and sunscreen |
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